St. Veronica Giuliani
Born in Mercatello in the Duchy of Urbino. He entered the order of the Capuchin Poor Clares in 1677 and in 1716 became abbess of the monastery of Città di Castello. In the Diary he tells his own experience.
It is one of the greatest mystical and contemplative of history. He had numerous revelations and received the stigmata his model was the Franciscan spirituality. Suffering was one of constant penance and prayers for the conversion of sinners.
From the diary of St. Veronica Giuliani
The will of God begins to manifest in it, the night of March 21st, while making prayer. I have fall into a trance in which the Lord had made me realize that the confession was to be made the night of Palm Sunday, and that in that week, I will suffer all the pains that he so wishes, for his greater glory and profit of my soul.
I seemed to be in a big place, from which I could not see the end, in the middle, there were two thrones, as alabaster, made of a fine work, both very well worked. Suddenly, I've seen it coming, from far away, a big procession. First they were very little children, very beautiful and well decorated, who seemed to wear dresses made of jewelry, and all had in hand a cross very small but beautiful. And of these, there were so many, that they never ended to pass by , but all stood in order, about those thrones.
At this point, I was informed that they were all angels. And then, it started to arrive many saints with fantastically beautiful crowns on their heads and with a cross in his hand, they were dressed the same way. Only his clothes ornaments were different and meant the virtue that they had practiced in this life. The garments were white and all glittered like many suns. Among these saints I thought I recognized a few, but I had never seen them in this way.. They were also around the two thrones.
And then, it have begun to come many saints, they were also dressed with clear light: only in their heads they wore different things. One had the crown of joy, other a crown of jewels. On the hand, some carried the lily and the cross, and partly just the cross. Behind all these saints, was the Blessed Virgin, who in beauty and ornaments excelled all. With her were three saints, sometimes seen by me, this is Saint katerine, Saint Theresa and Saint Rose. It looked like they made signs to me to come over. I suddenly came the kidnapping that led me to the feet of the Blessed Virgin, who was sitting in the seat, in one of those thrones. I prayed from the heart, I said: "You are my mother and mother of mercy, however, have mercy on me. Impetradme a true sorrow for my sins, and pray to your son, I want him to forgive me the many offenses against his Divine Majesty".
The Virgin told me: "Be calm, I'm with you and all those who are here have come to help. And my son will come now." While the Virgin was speaking to me, the Lord appeared with a multitude of angels, as I had seen it before. The Lord was glorious, and carried in his hand a very big cross. He spoke to me like this: "I'm coming, all love, but the day of judgment, in which I must appear the same way, then I will come rigorous and angry. You, at this point, will feel great pain, but this pain is nothing compared with which it will have, all universally".
At the set time, confession and behold promised comes, here it is our prepared Saint, in the name of obedience, to describe it, but she fears not to be able to do this. After having Invoked God, those who want to talk in its place, will embarks in this difficult task, certain that the intervention to Him who had begged so fast. It's March 31, 1697.
"At about 8 pm, the concentration has come to me while the vision of our glorious Lord, of the Blessed Virgin and many saints with a multitude of angels. I was afraid about what the lord was going to do with my soul. When I returned, I seemed to find a trial. The Lord is seated on a throne, and all the saints were around him. the Blessed Virgin has put on another throne, and all the angels sang: Victoria, Victoria.
But I tremble for all the sins I had committed that were before me, and, with them, I have gone, somehow, before the throne of Jesus Christ, who has covered his face with his hands, so as not to see me. This has been a great pity that I cannot explain with the pen and with the words. Only that angelical music filled me with courage, and heard they sing: Victoria, Victoria. At last the Lord has discovered the face and has made me a sign to go to the Blessed Virgin. immediately, I do not know how, I find at his feet. Nevertheless, I wanted to beg her to appease his son for me, but I also saw that the Virgin covered her face. Oh God, what pain, what pain I have felt and that can not be explained. I could not say a word, I was just waiting for the sentence of condemnation. Oh God, there were no prayers or help for me.
At last, the Blessed Virgin has discovered her face and made me a sign to go to Saint Claire's mother, and I do not know how I came to Saint Claire, who, immediately, has covered her face because she did not wanted to see me. Oh my God. These were death sentences for me, and I still could not speak. In the end, Saint Claire's mother has begun to say, "I do not know you as my daughter." And I, at that point, she said: "Tell the truth, why I have not been your daughter, at which point I have not observed what you have prescribed in the rule." Saying this, I seemed to have before me all the offenses against the rule. It caused me confusion and horror, and made me mute. Again, I heard the songs that replicated: Victoria, Victoria. They gave me encouragement. I have prayed to Saint Claire that she came with me before the Lord.
At this point, she asked the Saint to take her to all the saints who were present. the former has been Saint Francis, he also has covered his face to not see me. So did everyone else. For me there was only grief, confusion and shame. No one wanted to see me. As I write, I can not go forward because of the fear I felt as I remembered everything. Oh, think, at that time, the suffering I felt. I was waiting for the conviction. All rejected me as a detestable thing. Oh God, what a pity. But at the same time I knew that I deserved this confusion, because I had offended God, the Supreme Good, and did not deserve anything but Hell. Return to the Lord, I would say without words: Oh my Lord, where is your mercy towards me? ". And I turn to the Virgin Mary, and said:" You are the mother of the sinners, and now, for me, what would you do in my extreme need? ". And She covered her face.
My guardian angel made me kneel at the feet of Jesus, and I was publicly obliged to confess my faults and all that I had committed during my life. While I made the sign of the cross, I wanted to begin my confession, but could not, because I felt the pain of having offended Him, my Highest Good. In the end, I began the confession like this : "Husband of mine, I have offended you and I confess for you". When I said this the Lord has given me light, and has given me understanding to know how valuable is the sacrament of penance.
I felt such a shame that I could not utter a word. The Lord asked me to say, and I said it again : "My highest good, spouse of my soul, I have offended you, Infinity Good". And I could not resist anymore. This single word made me penetrate in what were the sins and offenses against God, and I could not talk anymore.