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Chi ha inventato
la nutella?
Once upon a time, many,
many, many, ma'na cifra of many years ago, at the
beginning of the initiation of the mond, there
was the caos.
One day, God (God is the nome d'art of Dio), God,
who was disoccupated, had a folgorant idea and so
God created the Nutell.
And God saw that the Nutell was good, very good,
very very good, good 'na cifra. The mangiation of
God was long. He manged one million of barattols
of Nutell sfrutting the fact that God has not a
Mamm that strills if you sbaff too much
Nutell.......
And after this mangiation, God invented the Water
Closed Run, the cors in the cabinet, and some
Nutell's derivates like the red bubbons, the
panz, the cellulit and ceter, and ceter.
After di which (dopodichè') he invented Adamo ed
Eva and all the paradise and he diss to Adamo and
Eva: "Now you have all the Paradise, you can
do everything, very tutt: you have the permission
to eat, to drink, to kiss, to scop; nothing
lavor, nothing affit, nothing concors of
impiegats, nothing cod alla post, nothing IRPEF,
ILOR.
Only very ozious life: television, telenovels,
football, moviols, process of Monday, appell of
Tuesday, cassazion of Wednesday, and ceter, and
ceter. You have gratis restaurants, cinemas,
theaters, all the Paradise is yours:
air-conditioned, autom riscaldament, moquette,
parquett, tresset, bidet, omelette, eccet,
eccet.... "There's just one thing, remember,
in tutt the Paradise just one thing absolutely
prohibited.
Come, come to me in the giardin: this is
"the Nocciol", the alber of the Nutell.
Only this alber of the Nutell is prohibited,
because I like the Nutell very much, very very
much, much 'na cifra and I want all the Nutell,
tutt the Nutell for me."
During the prim temps, Adamo and Eva were very
happy.
Adamo said:"What a cool! ('Cool' is not in
Italian 'freddo', no, 'What a cool' means 'Che
cul') All the Paradise is nostr!" And
everyday, ognigiorn, they discovered something
new.
A lot of scoperts, many scoperts, many many
scoperts, 'na cifra di scoperts. One day the
scopert of the hot water, one day the scopert of
the spaghettis, one day the cigarettes, and
ceter, and ceter. But one day, a trist day, a
very very trist day, trist 'na cifra, Adamo and
Eva fecer the scopert of the first colazion.
And after the scopert of the cappuccin, the
scopert of the aranch succ, the scopert of the
cornetts, they understood that something was
mancant.
"Eva!" said Adamo "Don't you think
that qualcos is mancant here, proprio here,
'ncopp this fett?"
"Second me" Eva risposed "'ncopp
the fett you have to metter burr and
marmelade."
"No, no Eva, you know that the marmelade
schif myself. I want 'ncopp this fett something
very particular, very very particular, particular
'na cifra. What do you think about the
Nutell?"
"No, Adamo you are scording that the Signor
said that's vietat!"
"Yes, I remember, but only a little
assaggiation, don't succed nothing!"
And Adamo sces in the cortil where the alber of
the Nutell was and he pres a small barattol and
spalmed the brown cream on the fett and assagged
the Nutell. Adamo and Eva don't ebber the time to
exprimer the godiment that the tuons and fulmins
apparved in the ciel and one voice said:
"Potevamo stupirv you with special effects,
but I'm God, not Fantagod! Adamo, Eva, come here!
I'm very incazz with you, very very incazz,
incazz 'na cifra! How did you permit to tocc the
Nutell? Didn't you remember that it was
prohibited?"
"Cazz!" esclamed Adamo "It was
prohibited!
Oh, sorry, God, I'm very very sorry, sorry 'na
cifra, God, I really really was completely
scordat..."
"Don't do that fint tont, Adamo, I'm God, I
can see everything, very tutt, and I know that
you and the woman have deliberatament assaggiated
the Nutell. So you have a big punhition, a very
castig for your peccat.
But siccom I'm sconfinatly good, you can choose,
you have two scelts: "Scelt number 1:
nothing Nutell for ever and ever in the secols of
the secols, amen!"
"Nooo!" Eva was piagnucoling "It's
a thing very tragic, very very tragic, ragic 'na
cifra!"
"Aspett!" said God "Don't be
frettolous woman.....
"Scelt number 2: you can take the Nutell, no
problem, let's prend, prend, but for you is the
cacciation out of the Paradise. You will have to
lavorar with the sudor of your front, you will
zapp the terr, you'll have mal of chien and, like
this don't bastass, everytime you will mang
Nutell, the malediction of the brufols, of the
mal of panch, of the cacarel will be cadent n
you."
"Ale'!" esclaimed Adamo
"Thank you God, thank you, we don't interess
the cacciation dal Paradise, the important is to
have the Nutell! Goodbye! Ciao, ciao!"
And so Adamo and Eva were cacciated and this
original peccat and this malediction cadded on
lor and on lor discendents, and on the
discendents of the discendents. Infact, tutt'ogg,
you can veder in the pubblicity all the ragazz
that per aver one fett of pan and Nutell they
scalan the mountains they stay in a tend al fredd
and al gel and ceter, and ceter.
But the final pensier of tutti noi is "It's
meglio faticar and soffrir with the Nutell
piuttost che the Terrestr Paradise senz the
Nutell." e here finisch the
story......content? Eh?
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