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CHARLES WILLIAM
DURHAM II (1866-1948) |
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From a letter written by his eldest granddaughter,
Margaret Nancy Durham “Madge” My
granddad Durham was born of a well-to-do professional family in Chancery
Lane. His mother died when he was still young and his father decided to emigrate to South Africa, but it was not suitable to take
his young son. (note: there is another story, below) He had an unmarried
sister (Mary Ann Martin, she actually married in 1866) living in a well-to-do
avenue in Gravesend and she agreed to look after young Charlie. She was a
well educated woman and brought Charlie up similarly. Charles
William Durham was born 16 April 1866 at 26 Cursitor
Street in the City of London (note: there is an office building there today,
but there might once have been a pub, as his father was a licensed victualler). His father was William Jacob
Smith Durham, a licensed victualler, and his mother was Henrietta Martin,
daughter of a waterman and Freeman of the Thames, from
Gravesend. She died in 1869, and WJSM remarried in 1872, a Louisa Whenman,
who probably died in 1880. There was another son, Walter James Durham, born
1867 in Greenwich. I don’t know
whether he had any children by his second wife, or by his third wife, Madge
Isobel, whom he presumably married in South Africa, or just before he went. Charles William Durham said he had "2 stepmothers". William Jacob Smith
Durham is described by various family members as having 3 pubs in Greenwich
and/or owning the Neville Arms in Borough High Street and 5 others in
Greenwich. According to Charlie (the writer’s cousin) he was found in bed
with a maid, fell into disgrace and emigrated to
South Africa in 1882. Charlie says he "rented" the pub, that's why
he was disgraced. It would be interesting
to know whether licensed victuallers owned their pubs in those days, or
whether they were simply managers on
behalf of the brewery, like nowadays. If he owned one or more pubs,
naughty as the incident with the maid may have been,
I don’t see why that should have made him emigrate. And what happened to the pubs after he went
away? If on the other hand he was only a manager, how would he have had so
many pubs? So perhaps it was a mixture, owning and renting. William
Jacob Smith Durham gave Charles William Durham £100 before he went, but later
had to ask for it back, and died a pauper in South Africa in 1894. According to Charlie,
when William Jacob Smith Durham emigrated, Charles William Durham walked to Gravesend, and went to live
with his mother’s elder sister, Mary Ann Martin (Aunt Lygo),
who had married a widower, Henry Charles Lygo, also
a waterman, in 1866. Mary Ann probably didn’t have any children of her own
(she was 42 when she married), although her husband had 3 daughters by his
first marriage. In
the 1871 census William Jacob Smith Durham is shown as living at the Man in
the Moon, Greenwich, with his second wife, Louisa (although they didn’t
actually get married till 1872!), but without
his two sons (not all that surprisingly!), although they would only have been
5 and 4 then; so perhaps they were already
living with the Lygos in Gravesend then, having
gone to live there when their mother died. Charles William Durham is shown as
living with the Lygos in Edwin Street in Gravesend.
Walter James Durham is missing, which is a mystery. In
the 1881 census William Jacob Smith Durham is not shown, so perhaps he had
already emigrated to South Africa by then and not in
1882, as previously believed. Charles
William Durham was living with the Lygos at 69 Parrock Street, Gravesend, but there is no mention of his
brother, Walter James Durham anywhere, although he was only 14. The
story also goes that Charles William Durham met Annie Wigley
when he was living with the Lygos, as she was a
servant there, and they married in August 1891 at Greenwich. In the 1891 census Charles was still living
with the Lygos, but Annie was in service at another
address in Northfleet, so perhaps she’d lost her
job with the Lygos. At
the wedding, the witnesses were his cousin William Henry and his wife Emma
Louisa Pyett Martin, ie. nobody from his and her immediate family - one wonders why
they got married in Greenwich (they BOTH gave their address as 27 Haddington Terrace, Greenwich), not Gravesend. Perhaps
the marriage was disapproved of. Mary
Ann Lygo had a servant who left to get married, and
found she still needed domestic help. She engaged a Miss Annie Wigley from Selling in Kent (how she got in touch with
some one living so far away I do not know). Annie turned out to he a buxom,
good looking girl, but with little education due to poor rural schooling. In
normal circumstances Charlie (Charles William Durham) would not have
considered Annie as a partner but he had one very grave drawback - he was
only 4 feet 11 inches tall - so short that no woman would look at him.
However, Annie did, although she was easily five or six inches taller and
very robust. They married and had four children and settled in Gravesend.
Granddad found work in the printing firm of Harmsworths
in Northfleet and Grandma turned their front room
at 84 Cecil Road, into a sweet shop. Walter
James Durham married in 1888, settled in Poole, Dorset, and had about 9
children. When I became old enough to notice things I realised that Grandma
always was acting a part, putting on airs, never letting up and behaving as
if she was of a higher social status. Gradually I
became to realise that she had married quite a bit “above herself”. Even in my early teens I must have been a hit of a social observer to
notice all this. My own mother Nancy (actually Annie Ethel) Cobley was from a higher
social status than Grandmother Durham. My Grannie Cobley came from a well
educated middle class family, but had to break up her marriage as her husband
turned out to be a sottish drinker. Grandfather Durham enjoyed life and made the best of things, but he
never went down to the hopfields. In his younger
days he had done turns on the Music Hall stage, and still loved them - and
took me to several of them. I have no photos of him. I loved him but did not
like grandmother Durham. My mother and I lived with Grannie Cobley for some
years and although she was very strict I liked her. Looking
at my father (Henry Charles Lygo Durham) in this
picture (see PHOTOS D008) I think it shows that he was puzzled and unhappy
with life - due probably to the considerable disparity of education and
intelligence between his parents. |
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PAGE UPDATED 1 MARCH 2009 |
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