OASIS

When Oasis songwriter/guitarist Noel Gallagher decides to pack in the band, he's bound to end up hosting a talk show. Garrulous and opinionated - and bloody funny - he clearly got the smart Gallagher genes, whereas his brother, 30 year old Oasis singer Liam, tends to act first and settle out of court later.

Now 35, Noel and the band have spent much of 2002 on the road, pushing their fifth album, Heathen Chemistry. During downtime, he recovers from hangovers, embarrasses himself in public libraries and dreams of writing lyrics like Morrissey.

How did you start writing songs?

It's a calling, innit? One day I picked up an acoustic guitar and it felt right. I was the only one in the gang of people I used to knock about with that was musical. Everybody else was into theft and football violence. But what led me there? The Unseen God of Rock & Roll, whatever that is.

What was the first song you fell for?

"She Loves You", The Beatles. My parents had the red and blue albums so I guess I heard it there. I liked the way they'd shake their heads and go "Wooooh". It's a good song.

What was the first song you nailed on the guitar?

"House of the rising son". I managed to meet up with a guy who lived nearby, who I heard had a guitar. Was it easy? Fuck no. I found it easy to stay on one chord, but the jump from A Minor to C took about a month and from there to D took another month. I was in my early teens. Never looked back. well, only in anger. Boom boom.

And the first album you bought?

It was the Sex Pistols' Never mind the bollocks. I bought it when I was 13 from a shop called Sifter's, which was immortalised in the song "Shakermaker". It was a bit of a giggle because it had swearing in it.
Especially "Bodies", which had "fuck" and "shit" in it and you had to play it softly so your Mum didn't find out. You didn't understand at that point that it was a culturally significant record.

Do you still go record shopping?

Funny story. I been out record shopping in Melbourne. I went into this shop and picked out a load of records - I had a spectacular hangover. I was in there for an hour and these records were in fucking great nick, all vinyl.

So I put them on the counter and this bloke said "Can I have your name please?" So I said it was Noel. And he asked for my last name and I said "Gallagher". He punched it into a compute and I thought , "this is a bit fuckin' fascist!". He asked if I had an address, and I said "Yeah, England".

Then he told me my name wasn't coming up on the computer and I said, "why would my fucking name be coming up on your computer?". Then he said, "because this is a library." Then I went back to the pub where I should have stayed in the first place.

I believe you're a friend of Bono's.

He's great. People say "Look at him with fucking George Bush" and that but he wears his heart on his sleeve. I tell you what: He's as real as it gets. I love him.

Do you have a favourite U2 song?

"One". Fantastic song. I have a funny Bono story. One night it was me, Liam and Bono in the back of a limo and me and Liam were going on about the song "One" and how great it was. Now, i'm sure that fucker had a hand in this somehow, but guess what song came on the radio when we turned it on? Fucking "One" by U2.

He is close to God, that fucker. We looked at him and said "Have you got your own radio station?"

What would you like to change about your songwriting?

I could do with a fuckin' lyricist, I tell you what. Music and melody comes naturally, words - well, I get it right more often than that - but I wish I could articulate feelings and thoughts like Morrissey or Bono or Thom Yorke. But they couldn't write a song like "Hindu Times" , so it balances itself out.

Has anyone ever told you they've had sex to Oasis records?

Absolutely. Last time I was in Japan I met a gang of strippers who told me they danced to "Champagne Supernova" and "Wonderwall" all the time. I said, "Oh really?". I didn't get a demonstration, unfortunately.

Would you and Liam agree on Oasis' best song?

"Live Forever". It just meant so much to everyone at the time. Every band that was in Britain was great up until the time that came out - we became IT after one song. It kickstarted the whole thing. Two weeks later the album came out and then - fucking bingo.

What's your take on the Vines and the new garage rock bands?

I really want to like the Vines but I'm not too sure what's stopping me. There's the whole Nirvana thing going on, but I think Kurt Cobain had a far better sense of melody. I want to see them live before making my mind up. The jury's out.

How does your daughter Anais react to your music?

"Roll with it" is her favourite, probably. She's as batty as a box of frogs - but I tell you, she's a good little dancer.