E-MAIL in a Geordie accent

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excerpt from an email to FLUXLIST about accents 11th march 2003

"british accent? is there such a thing? (I'm not taking you for a ride here
miekal - it's someting that i'm interested in) i guess there's english,
scottish, irish and welsh ones, could there be a generic british accent?
people, americans especially, often think i'm from scotland or ireland (and
therefore related to there friend who's a nyc copper) when in fact i'm from
the north east of england (Quote from a young new yorker i met -"gee! isn't
that an island near scotland?) and have a particular accent, although i
usually have to speak properly. last night i was out with my cousin and 3
other blokes from newcastle (The Toon) and nobody around us could understand
a word that was said - the newcastle dialect and accent is the nearest to
old english as you'll get and is nearer to norwegian and anglo saxon than
english. terms like toon (town), aal laarn ya (i'll teach you), aad wife
(old woman) are pure anglo saxon. combine this with the fact that the
accent changes just about every mile and questions begin to arise. accents
change over such short distances all over the uk that linguistic borders
e.g. scottish/english/ english/welsh are blurred (ireland is different
because of the water) but there is the fact that there is a welsh language
(totally incomprehensible to anyone but the welsh, but a bit like dutch in
the amount of phlegm it produces, and the scots and irish have their own
versions of gaelic.

and now i've completely forgotten what i was on aboot!