Excuse me
Can I have the attention of the class for one second

hi kids, do you like violence (yeah yeah yeah)
wanna see me stick nine inch nails through each one of my eyelids? (uh huh)
wanna copy me and do exactly like i did? (yeah yeah)
try 'cid and get fucked up worse than my life is?
my brain's dead weight, i'm tryin to get my head straight
but i cant figure out which Spice Girl i wanna impregnate (umm)
and Dr. Dre said (Slim Shady you a basehead)
uh uh (then why's your face red, man you wasted)
well since age twelve i felt like i'm someone else
'cuz i hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off
and smacked her so hard i knocked her clothes backwards like Kriss Kross
i'll smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast
come here slut (Shady wait a minute that's my girl, dog)
i dont give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off

hi, my name is...
what? my name is...
who? my name is...Slim Shady
hi, my name is
huh? my name is...
what? my name is...Slim Shady

my English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high
thanx a lot, next semester i'll be thirty-five
so i smacked him in his face with an eraser,
chased him with a stapler
and stapled his nuts to a stack of papers
walked in a strip club, had my jacket zipped up
flashed the bartender and stuck my dick in the tip cup
extra-terrestrial, runnin' over pedestrians, in a spaceship
while they screamin (let's just be friends!)
ninety-nine percent of my life i was lied to
i just found out my mom does more dope than i do (damn)
i told her i'd grow up to be a famous rapper
make a record about doin drugs and name it after her
you know you blew up when the women rush your stands
and try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans
this guy at White Castle asked me for my autograph (dude, can I get your autograph?)
so i signed it 'Dear Dave, Thanks for the support, asshole.'

hi, my name is...
what? my name is...
who? my name is...Slim Shady
hi, my name is
huh? my name is...
what, my name is...Slim Shady

stop the tape, this kid needs to be locked away (get him)
Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, operate!
i'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die
i'd rather be carried inside a cemetary and buried alive
am i comin or goin? i can barely decide
i just drank a fifth of vodka, dare me to drive? (go ahead)
all my life i was very deprived
i ain't had a woman in years, my palms are too hairy to hide
clothes rip like the Incredible Hulk
i spit when i talk, i fuck anything that walks (come here)
when i was little i used to get so hungry i would throw fits
(how you gonna breast feed me mom you aint got no tits!)
i lay awake and strap myself in bed, wit a bullet proof vest on
and shoot myself in the head (bang) till i'm steamin mad
and by the way when you see my dad, tell him that i slit his throat in this dream i had

hi, my name is...
what? my name is...
who? my name is...Slim Shady
hi, my name is
huh? my name is...
what, my name is...Slim Shady