H I P H O P E B A S T A

I reckon you ain't familiar with these here parts
You know, there's a story behind that there saloon
Twenty years ago, two outlaws took this whole town over
Sheriffs couldn't stop em
Quickest damn gun slingers I've ever seen
Got murdered in cold blood
That ol' saloon there was their little home away from home
They say the ghosts of Bad and Evil still live in that tavern
And on a quiet night
You can still hear the footsteps of Slim Shady and Royce Da Five-Nine...

I don't speak, I float in the air wrapped in a sheet
I'm not a real person, I'm a ghost trapped in a beat
I translate when my voice is read through a sismograph
And a noise is bred, picked up and transmitted through Royce's head
Trapped him in his room, possessed him and hoist his bed
Till the evilness flows through his blood like poisonous lead
Told him each one of his boys is dead
I asked him to come to the dark side, he made a choice and said

Who hard? yo I done heard worse
We can get in two cars and accelerate at each other
To see which one'll swerve first
Two blind bandits panic, whose mental capacity holds
That of a globe on top of nine other planets
Kissed the cheek of the devil
Intelligence level is hellier than treble peakin on speakers in the ghetto
Dismissal, I'm not a fair man, disgraced the race of a atheist
Intercepting missles with my bare hands like a patriot
One track sliced without swords, I buried the Christ corpse
In my past life when the Black Knight mounted the white horse
And stay over-worked, its like the Nazis in the nations
Collaborating, attemptin to take over the earth

Cuz this is what happens when Bad Meets Evil
We hit the trees till we look like Vietnamese people
He's Evil, and I'm Bad like Steve Segal
Above the law cuz I don't agree wit police either (shit, me neither)

We ain't eager to be legal
So please leave me with the keys to your Jeep Eagle
I breathe ether in three amounts
When I stab myself in the knee with a diseased needle
Releasin rage on anybody in squeezing range
Cold enough to make the seasons change into freezing rain
(He's insane) No I'm not, I just want to shoot up and I'm pissed off
Cuz I can't find a decent vain

The disaster with dreds
I'm bad enough to commit suicide and survive long enough
To kill my soul after I'm dead
When in danger it's funny actually my flavor's similar to a waiter
Cuz I serve any stranger with money
I spray a hundred, man until they joint chains
While slippin bullets at point blank range like they was punches
Piss on a flag and burn it, murder you then come to your funeral
Serve this lobbyist, strangle your body then confirm you
Whippin human ass, throwin blows crackin jaws
With my fists wrapped in gause, dipped in glue and glass
I'm blazin MC's, at the same time amazin MC's
Somehow MC's ain't that eye-brow raisin to me
From all of angles of us, flash a mack loud enough to cast a avalanche
And bust till volcanoes errupt

Hello? (Billy) Hey yo (we're comin to get you)
STOP, THEY KNOW IT'S US!!

I used to be a loudmouth, remember me? (uh-ah)
I'm the one who burned your house down (oh)
Well I'm out now (shit), and this time I'm comin back to blow your house up
And I ain't gon leave you a window to jump out of
Give me two fat tabs and three shrooms
And you won't see me like fat people in steam rooms
And when I go to hell and I'm gettin ready to leave
I'ma put air in a bag and charge people to breathe

Cuz this is what happens when Bad Meets Evil
And we hit the trees till we look like Vietnamese people
He's Evil, and I'm Bad like Steve Segal
Against peaceful, see you in hell for the sequel
(We'll be waitin) See you in hell
Wall Street, Royce Da Five-Nine, Slim Shady
See you in hell for the sequel (bye bye)
Bad Meets Evil, what? (till next time)

And so that's the story when Bad Meets Evil
Two of the most wanted individuals in the county
Made Jesse James and Billy the Kid look like law-abiding citizens
It's too bad they had to go out the way they did
Got shot in the back comin out of that ol' saloon
But their spirits still live on to this day
Shhh... wait, did y'all hear that?

20. Still Don't Give A Fuck

A lot of people ask me
am I afraid of death?
Hell yeah I'm afraid of death
I don't want to die yet
A lot of people think that I worship the devil
that I do all types of.. retarded shit
Look, I can't change the way I think
And I can't change the way I am
But if I offended you? Good
Cause I still don't give a fuck

I'm zonin off of one joint, stoppin a limo
Hopped in the window, shoppin a demo at gunpoint
A lyricist without a clue, what year is this?
Fuck a needle, here's a sword, bodypierce with this
Livin amuk, never givin a fuck
Gimme the keys I'm drunk, and I've never driven a truck
But I smoke dope in a cab
I'll stab you with the sharpest knife I can grab
Come back the next week and re-open your scab
A killer instinct runs in the blood
Emptyin full clips and buryin guns in the mud
I've calmed down now I was heavy once into drugs
I could walk around straight for two months with a buzz
My brain's gone, my soul's worn and my spirit is torn
The rest of my body's still bein operated on
I'm ducked the fuck down while I'm writin this rhyme
Cause I'm probably gonna get struck with lightnin this time

For all the weed that I've smoked - yo this blunts for you
To all the people I've offended - yeah fuck you too!
To all the friends I used to have - yo I miss my past
But the rest of you assholes can kiss my ass
For all the drugs that I've done - yo I'm still gon' do
To all the people I've offended - yeah fuck you too!
For everytime I reminisce - I miss my past
But I still don't give a fuck y'all can kiss my ass

I walked into a gunfight with a knife to kill you
And cut you so fast when your blood spilled it was still blue
I'll hang you till you dangle and chain you with both ankles
And pull you apart from both angles
I wanna crush your skull till your brains leaks out of your veins
And bust open like broken water mains
So tell Saddam not to bother with makin another bomb
Cause I'm crushin the whole world in my palm
Got your girl on my arm and I'm armed with a firearm
So big my entire arm is a giant firebomb
Buy your mom a shirt with a Slim Shady iron-on
And the pants to match (Here momma try em on)
I get a master ticked with a mouth full of adjectives
a brain full of adverbs, and a box full of laxatives
(Shittin on rappers) Causin hospital accidents
God help me before I commit some irresponsible acts again

I wanted an album so rugged nobody could touch it
Spend a million a track and went over my budget (Oh shit)
Now how in the fuck am I supposed to get out of debt?
I can't rap anymore I just murdered the alphabet
Drug sickness got me doin some bugged twitches
I'm withdrawn from crack so bad my blood itches
I don't rap to get the women fuck bitches
Give me a fat slut that cooks and does dishes
Never ran with a clique I'm a posse
Kamikaze, strappin a motherfuckin bomb across me
From the second I was born, my momma lost me
I'm a cross between Manson, Esham and Ozzy
I don't know why the fuck I'm here in the first place
My worst day on this earth was my first birthday
Retarded? What did that nurse say? Brain damage?
Fuck, I was born during the earthquake