Pamela De Santis – English II, LM – Task 4 – April 7, 2009

Target: A New York newspaper, the most widely read in the Bronx. Probably the sensationalistic New York Post (that Murdoch bought and turned into an American version of the British tabloid The Sun). For its style see:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York_Post
See also: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York_City_media#Newspapers

Since Chiara used The Sun, as a model, many of the remarks I made on her paper apply to yours. So I will be frequently redirecting you to her paper which you will find here.]

July 21, 1997

ENEL* INAUGURATES TWO NEW GEOTHERMOELECTRIC** POWER STATIONS.
by Pamela De Santis

[* People in the Bronx have never heard of ENEL. See what Chiara wrote. Both of you could have put simply: “ITALY INAUGURATES TWO NEW....”]
** See Chiara's paper.

MONTEVERDI (PISA) – Today, the national company for electricity, Italian national electrical company, Enel, inaugurated two new geothermoelectric [See Chiara's paper] power stations at the top of technology [good Post style], for a total investment of around 210 billion lire [see Chiara's paper]. These power plants have an overall capacity of 40 Mw and can produce 260 million kW/h per year, enough to fulfill the requirements of 350,000 people.[see Chiara's paper].

These have also been designed to reduce their impact on the environment, cutting noise levels at the same time and this, for the electricity board, is another important step in the development of geothermal power. [good, but it should have been in the lead paragraph, since this intererest your readers in the Bronx] In fact, Enel is one of the first electricity companies in the world to use a technology that involves fluid washing at a depth of more than 1,000 metres.

Over the next five years there are new plants to will raise capacity by around 200 Mw, in addition to the current 512 provided by the 27 existing plants. Furthermore, [too formal for the Post] Plus, given the multiple uses of steam in industry and as an alternative source of energy for domestic heating, the construction of these two new Enel power stations should have a positive impact on the whole of the Monteverdi area in terms of employment, as well as social and economic benefits. [Very well written paragraph: you simplified the original press release syntax just the way it should be for the Post readership.]

"With considerable satisfaction, we can affirm that Enel is working actively in the field of research, together with the development and improvement of geothermoelectric resources, paying particular attention to the environment and local situations" said Chicco Testa, the chairman of the electricity company. [see Chiara's paper]

[Excellent.
You eliminated most of what the Post editors would have rejected anyway, simplifying their task. This means that you increased your chances of getting published enormously: the editors just have to make a few minor changes and publish it the way it is (less work!).]