Chiara Pennacchini- II year LS- 20/4/2009

Task 4: rewrite the text according to British English, in particular taking into account the “The Times” style [OK, SO NO MORE SUN STYLE, YOU'RE MOVING UPSCALE TO THE TIMES AUDIENCE]

TWO ULTRAMODERN POWER STATIONS OPENED BY ITALIAN ELECTRICAL ENERGY BOARD

A 211 billion euro investment

Monteverdi, Italy: July 21, 1997 – Today two new ultramodern power stations were opened by the Italian Electrical Energy Board, ENEL in a town near Pisa, Tuscany. It’s the result of a great significant [“great” = emphasis; “significant” = understatement; prefer the latter for the gentlemanly Times] investment of about 211 billion euro and it leads which will lead to [“and” = parataxis; “which” = hypotaxis; prefer the former for the less-educated Sun readers, the latter for the Times' highly-educated readership] a remarkable [<excellent choice for the Times] improvement both in economics and employment because of the flexible use of steam in industry as well as in home heating as an alternative energy source. [The last part could be a separate sentence to facilitate reading, but since it's for the Times...]

These two state-of-the-art plants are defined termed “geothermal” because they draw energy from the bowels of the Earth by transforming our planet’s molten core into steam which, then, drives turbines. This makes Enel one of the first electricity companies in the world to handle a fluid washing technology at a depth of more than 1,000 metres. In addiction, these plants have been designed to lower their impact on the environment and, besides, cutting noise levels.

The overall capacity of these plants is of 40 Mw. Moreover they are able to turn out 260 million kW/per year, quite enough [very British] to fulfill the needs of 350,000 people and, [<avoid parataxis, especially when both clauses are complex; two separate sentences would be more readable. Remember: you are using “educated SBE” but that does not mean being overly complex] according to the Company, this is just the first step because, over the next 5 years, plants will be able to raise the production power produced by about 200 Mw. They will join the 27 existing plants.

The Chairman of Enel, Chicco Testa, maintained declared [“maintained” implies that a divergent opinion was expressed by someone and so Chicco must “maintain” his original position; that is not the case here] that together with the development and enhancement of geothermooelectric resources, Enel is actively involved in the research field, always constantly taking into account the environment and local situations.

It is a notable step forwards for Italy in terms of economics and environment and it marks a distinction with UK which government, as well as an example of good ecology for the UK to follow, instead of though the growing importance of the reduction of the impact on the environment in the world, is going to building a new generation of coal-fire power stations , moving with anger to the dismay of both scientists and campaigners activists. [While it is true that the Times does lecture the British government on what it should be doing (and the Economist even more), your paragraph sounded too explicitly “preachy”. That is not considered good form. Be clear, by all means, but indirect at the same time.]

(http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/industry_sectors/natural_resources/article6122780.ece)

Excellent rewrite changing style. The middle paragraphs were almost perfect.
So now you have TWO personalities as a Brit: the plebeian Sun and the aristocratic Times.
Very good: more arrows for your quiver.