“Accommodating in EFL negotiations”

COURSE:  English III for English minors , curriculum OCI and LL

CIMINO MARIALUISA curriculum LL GROUP J

Task 2 11-05-2009

A DIALOGUE REPRESENTING A WIN-WIN NEGOTIATION

The two protagonists are a mother and her daughter. They are drinking a cup of tea in the kitchen and are facing each other around the table. They are talking of this and that. The daughter starts a negotiation to obtain some concessions.

Susan: Mum, tomorrow evening I go out with my mates. We go to a party. Do you remember? Well… I… Can I come home after midnight? [SALAMI-SLICING]

Mother: Yeah… You told me the party starts at 8 o’ clock. Why do you want to stay out late? Does the party last all night?

Susan: Mum, parties are the opportunities for young people to meet, spend a nice evening together and enjoy themselves, aren’t they? Why can’t I stay out with my mates until I want? [MEASURE WHAT YOU SAY][SAY ONLY WHAT YOU WANT THE OTHER SIDE TO KNOW]

Mother: Does the possibility to drink is included in your idea of enjoyment?

Susan: Why not? During the party we discuss and drink. Is it forbidden? [SALAMI-SLICING]

Mother: Hooley Dooley!!! Do you really want to come home late and drunk?

Susan: Why can’t I enjoy myself with my mates?

Mother: Well… I know you want to go out, spend time with your mates and enjoy yourself. It’s normal for young people, isn’t it? But did you really weigh the pros and cons? It’s necessary to consider the positive aspects as well as the risks that you run, isn’t it? [MEASURE WHAT YOU SAY][COURTE][INTENSIFY THE RELATIONSHIP]

[The daughter stands up, gets near her mother and sits on the same side of the table] [CHANGE THE SEATING ARRANGEMENT]

Susan: It’s normal and right that you are worried about my health, but you know I’m a very reliable Sheila, aren’t I? [MEASURE WHAT YOU SAY][COURTE][INTENSIFY RELATIONSHIP]

Mother: Why do you want to drink and stay out late? What is the reason of such things? [INSISTE EXAMINING THE QUESTION PIECE BY PIECE][ANALYZE INTERESTES]

Susan: Mum, what are you driving at? Maybe, religion? You Know I’m not religious like you. You’ve accepted that, haven’t you? Well, why can’t you understand my requests? [PRESS YOUR POINTS][INSISTE EXAMINING THE QUESTION PIECE BY PIECE][SUMMARIZE POINTS OF AGREEMENT]

Mother: I… I…. I mean… I’m your mother, aren’t I? I feel bound to be worried about you, don’t I? You’re not religious, but does that allow you to lead a dissolute life? [ANALYZE INTERESTS][SAY ONLY WHAT YOU WANT THE OTHER SIDE TO KNOW][DISCLOUSE]

Susan: Why do you tell me these things?

Mother: I feel responsible anyway for you, don’t I? What do you think about your requests? Do they make you happy? Or do you want to revolt against your parents and their religion? [ANALYZE INTERESTS][DIG FOR UNDERLYING INTERESTS][DISCLOUSE]

Susan: Why should I fashion my life according to the ideals of a religion that I think wrong? I’m not Calvinist, aren’t I? Well… Why should I conform with your value system? Why can’t I simply express my wishes? Why can’t I simply express myself? You always consider me according to your values, don’t you? [PRESS YOUR POINTS][INSIST EXAMINING THE QUESTION PIECE BY PIECE][SUMMARIZE POINTS OF AGREEMENT][DISCLOUSE]

Mother: You freely express yourself, don’t you? Do you feel weighed down by my religion? Do you think Calvinism traps me and don’t allow me to express my feelings? [ANALYZE INTERESTS][DISCLOUSE]

Susan: Can you freely express your feelings?

Mother: I always express myself at home, but with the utmost respect for my religion, don’t I? [DISCLOUSE]

Susan: Mum, I’m not religious like you, aren’t I? Why should I respect your beliefs? Why should I allow myself to be influenced by people around me? If I don’t believe your religion, you could be more flexible with me, couldn’t you? [PRESS YOU POINTS] [DIG FOR UNDELYING INTERESTS]

Mother: I must educate you, mustn’t I? Do you think I have to hide my value system when I address you? Do I have to be lay with you? [EXPLORE POSING QUESTIONS]

Susan: Why not? What’s the matter?

Mother: You know, Calvinism is part and parcel of my life. Are you not able to understand what the matter is? [DISCLOUSE]

Susan: Maybe, you fear to be too much tolerant, don’t you? Do you fear to be guilty before God? Do you fear to attract attention? EXPLORE POSING QUESTIONS]

Mother: Uhm… Parents have to educate their children. So I have to put you on the right track, don’t I? [PRESS YOUR INTERESTS][SAY ONLY WHAT YOU WANT THE OTHER SIDE TO KNOW][MEASURE WHAT YOU SAY]

Susan: You should do it but respecting my will to be not religious like you, shouldn’t you? [PRESS YOUR INTERESTS]

Mother: Well, we live together in the same house, don’t we? We are a family, don’t we? We should understand and help each other, shouldn’t we? You want to be respected for your lay values, don’t you? So you too should respect my religious beliefs, shouldn’t you? [ACKNOWLEDGE CONCERNS][ACTIVELY LISTEN][PIECEMEAL AGREEMENT][UNDERSTAND EVERY’ONES ALTERNATIVES] [BE NON-COERCITIVE][BE RATIONAL][SUMMARIZE POINTS OF AGREEMENT][BE FLEXIBLE][TRADE-OFF]

Susan: Yeah… We should express ourselves respecting the others, shouldn’t we?[CREATIVE SOLUTION][UNDERSTAND EVERY’ONES ALTERNATIVES][BE RATIONAL][TRADE-OFF][BRAINSTORMING][SUMMARIZE POINTS OF AGREEMENT][BE FLEXIBLE][JOINT PROBLEM SOLVING]

Mother: Uhm…

Susan: Do you accept to love me for my lay values, Mum? [TRADE-OFF][INTENSIFY RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPING MUTUAL ACCEPTANCE AND TRUST]

Mother: Do you accept to respect my Calvinist values, ? [TRADE-OFF][INTENSIFY RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPING MUTUAL ACCEPTANCE AND TRUST]

Susan: Have we got a deal? [FINAL QUESTION]

Mother: Yes, of course! I’ll try to be more flexible and tolerant with you. [TRADE-OFF][BE ACCEPTING OF THE OTHER PEOPLE]

Susan: Beauty! Ta Mum. I… I… Yeah… I stay out late only during the weekend and I come home sober. [TRADE-OFF][BE ACCEPTING OF THE OTHER PEOPLE]

Mother: Ta Susan!

[IN THE WHOLE TEXT: ASK QUESTIONS, ANSWER WITH ANOTHER QUESTIONS, GIVE ANSWERS PRESERVING THE CHANNEL OF COMMUNICATION, EXPLORE BY POSING QUESTIONS][TIT-FOR-TAT][PAY ATTENTION TO EACH OTHER’S OPINIONS]