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Such a strange, splitting
sensation, flood of thoughts over and over my head, brainstorming
active, and dead silence is overwhelming me, cool and fool faces,
all around the hall. The celebration is having its crucial moment.
Shivering flashes cross my spine, splitting my questions, and
destroying all the answers, attacking my "heavy" loneliness,
while a bunch of graduates is waiting for the Big Proclamation,
their hearts so light and over-pumping, like a furious machine
impossible to control, it beats faster and faster, it grows second
after second. Bell-bottomed untidy fragments of words I'm about
to whisper to the restless and wondered audience, while polished
declarations are being held by the Great Commission; all I'm
able to see is only the Majesty Hall's frames, some pictures
featuring old scientists upon the ancient walls of the University. I feel, all of a sudden, a strong, painful desire of rushing toward the most darkened corner of the Hall, where no-one can watch or stare at me. I don't want to be part of it, nor I want to get involved in such a mess, shadows of grief from a troubled, unsolved past are wasting my free spirit, suddenly I feel caged and enslaved; I can't allow myself to explode in tears while most of the delighted crowd is exulting and crowning their own kings, kings of the future.... or kings just for one day.... They will, maybe. I won't, for sure. I can barely spot my parents, tens of miles far from me, I can observe while they try to approach my little brother among the other graduates, so "drunk" of devotion and ever-lasting riveting. It's his feast, and no-one will steal these sheer moments of grace. As the loudness goes straight through the Park, unclear voices seem to rumble down to the ground, and then booming again up to the King Tree, reaching even the most hidden and obscured spaces between the bushes. The sun is attempting, menacingly, to my weak, wet eyes, freshening my gothic mood, while it lightens the engineers' smart heads, like mirrors reflecting my gently faded face. My hands are trembling, and my mind's growing dim. My brain is on fire, seems like a razor shaving my thoughts and penetrating my consciousness.... I watch now trees falling down and flowers wawing on the border of an abandoned swimming pool, deserted and desolated, no water inside it, just an immense, overwhelming void. Distorted flutes take over the deafening sound produced by an orchestra led by crazy trumpets and screaming violins; the engineers with mothers and fathers dancing around the bushes appears to be a new vision on this unusual screen; they joyfully shout at each other and sing untunefully, although the sound is right. Now I have managed to "get tuned" and "high", ready to join the rest of the band and sing altogether old gospel chants of freedom. ...until the Sun intends to shine and leave Mother Rain in a shadowed corner of the Earth.... waiting, in vain, for its turn to come.... ...oh, please, still give all of us a reason to stay here longer, never allow menacing clouds to penetrate your absoluteness and undisputable majesty....... The majesty of this Graduation Day. ...and the echoes of those chants of freedom will quivering in the air for the eternity.... Questo testo è depositato presso www.neteditor.it e quindi coperto da diritti d'autore. Esso non potrà essere riprodotto totalmente o parzialmente senza il consenso dell'autore stesso, il quale, peraltro, ha autorizzato la pubblicazione su NuovoGPR, in data indicata in testa ed a mezzo e-mail. |