Speak up!

According to a recent French parliamentary report, the French admit to being arrogant. So if the French are arrogant, what are the Italians? Setting aside the Mafiosi stereotype, I do think Italians behave in ways that are acceptable here, but to non-Italians make us seem loud, rambunctious, and even rude.

The crux of the issue lies in cultural differences. Northern Europeans and Scandinavians are taught respect and listening to others in infant and primary schools. It would seem that the Italians are not.

Take the whole-hearted exuberance with which we express ourselves. This is certainly one of the delights of Italian culture - animated conversations in piazzas are an enjoyable spectacle, even if you don't understand Italian. But this enthusiasm often belies our cultural 'vizi', or vices - we often interrupt, we generally don't listen and we rarely say sorry.

Italian television is the synthesis of this, from reality TV and chat shows to current affairs programmes. Often the repartee is less verbal sparring than bludgeoning that can make the Jerry Springer Show look positively tame. 'Winning' is not letting your opponent get a word in edge-wise.

The etiquette of queuing in Italy surely annoys our visitors. Though numbered queuing systems ensure order in post offices, banks and bakeries, plenty of barefaced queue jumping goes on.

Customers in bars are not served on the basis of who comes first but on a complex combination of factors - from announcing their arrival by bellowing 'BUONGIORNO!', their longevity as a patron, and their relationship with the barista. If you are not up with the play, it can mean a long wait for your coffee. Pushing in is tolerated by other customers, but getting angry is not. Maximum reaction is a raised eyebrow.

But I am not sure that these characteristics make us rude, they just make us different. So when your blood pressure is rising because someone has been given their cappuccino before you, don't get angry, just get louder.

Felix Petrelli c2004