STORIES OF MIGRATION:
MARIA AIELLO COSTABILE
In Australia on 1959 from Italy

VERSIONE ITALIANA- CLICCA QUI
My story as a teenager living on a farm in Italy and the time when my parents decided that I should be the one to open a door for my siblings to immigrate to Australia.

We lived on a farm in the south of Italy in Calabria. I was born in Castrolibero, Cosenza.
My name is Maria and today I am 69 years old. At the age of 18 I was sent off, across the world to start a new life. Full of joy, laughter, sacrifice and sorrow, I left behind my family and my fiancé of 3 years, Achille Costabile.
It was 1959 and I remember mum and dad asking me to go to Australia, the land of many opportunities to find a better future for me and my siblings. Those were the words they used.

FOR NEWS ON CASTROLIBERO CLICK HERE

CASTROLIBERO - COSENZA - CALABRIA - ITALY - FONTANA CHE PIOVE- CLIK HERE

Castrolibero - Maria Aiello Costabile is the left second

We lived on a farm in the south of Italy in Calabria. I was born in Castrolibero, Cosenza.
We weren't living in poverty, but what we produced off the land was just enough to survive.
We were lucky because the land and house that we lived in was my Grandfathers and it was inherited by my father.
I worked on the farm from dawn to dusk. We lived a simple, almost primitive lifestyle, with no luxury at all. We didn't have electricity or running water in the house, no newspaper to read, no phone and no clock to tell the time.
In all, there were 10 of us. Mum, dad, us and grandma. My grandpa passed away when I was very young. As my grandma was very ill, I was the one to take care of her. It was my job, mum used to say. My sister, Carmella took over when I left Italy.
Working on the farm definitely was not for me. I couldn't adjust to looking after the animals. I was terrified of them and I was getting into trouble with my parents because of that.
Learning that I could have the chance to go to Australia, made me very happy. I had no idea of where it was or where I was going, but I still wanted to get away from the farm.
As a child, I didn't remember much about play time. I had to grow up very quickly as I was the second eldest and had too many responsibilities.
The only schooling I had was grade 1, 2 and half of grade 3.
I worked and looked after my siblings, especially at night.

Castrolibero - Maria Aiello Costabile is the last from right

Mum and Dad had their own room and all of us children had another room together.
Mum and Dad had their own room and all of us children had another room together.
I remember one of my sisters, Anna, had a broken arm and it was winter time. She was crying because of her being very cold and the way that her plaster was put on, she couldn't put it under the blankets. So I would warm up our clothes and wrap them around her hand. I was doing that every night and at the same time, my other sister Carmella, had a lot of problems with her teeth. I used to clean her teeth and put drops on, hoping that the pain would go away. So while mum and dad were asleep, I was nursing my siblings.
One night, my sister, Carmel was in a lot of pain and I didn't know what else to do with her, so I took her to my mums room, knocked on the door and left her there, hoping that mum would get up and take care of her and I went back to sleep. To go to mums room, we had to go outside the house.
I have so many memories, some are happy but some are not. No memories about playtime because when my siblings were playing, I was so tired that I slept. This was at siesta time and I needed the sleep, like the adults. I missed out on my childhood.
I do remember one morning, my father got up and went to look at the sky to see more or less, what time it was. However, it was a beautiful moonlight. My father, knowing it was late in the morning, rushed in to wake me up and thinking I would get out of bed, he went off to milk the cows. He didn't get much milk because the time was wrong , so he came back inside, found me still in bed and got really angry at me. He pulled me out of bed and still, with me half asleep and with my eyes closed, I managed to get myself dressed in no time. He placed me on a donkey and sent me on my way to deliver the milk to one of my uncles. It was a two hour walk. Instead of becoming lighter, it was becoming darker. I was frightened. I didn't go back home so I stopped half way and waited until morning. My father realizing he had made a mistake, started to worry and wondered what I was going to do. After all I was only 10 or 11. That was only one of my many experiences on the farm.

Castrolibero - Maria Aiello and Achille Costabile

I do remember some beautiful memories
I do remember some beautiful memories, like Christmas time. We were preparing to write little poems for our parents and on Christmas Eve, we put the note under the plate. We knew where mum and dad would sit and each one of us couldn't wait to see their faces when they turned over the plate to put their food on. Then they would see our little notes. They would greet each one of us with so much love.
As I was the second eldest, I was the organiser for my little siblings. I was happy to see that my parents were proud of all of us. Dad would pull my nose when it was my turn. We felt loved and happy.
Also, Palm Sunday was very special. My mother used to decorate an olive branch with little chocolates and lollies and take it to church to be blessed. After lunch, we could share the chocolates and lollies. I loved Easter time because it was in spring time when all the trees were in bloom and birds were singing. For me it seemed like everything was coming to life. I remember there was so much family love.

In 1959, I left the farm to start my brave journey into a new world, Australia.
In 1959, I left the farm to start my brave journey into a new world, Australia. Accompanied by my parents and my fiancé, we arrived at the port of Napoli. I remember that day. It was a very sad day.
Once I was aboard the ship, I found myself surrounded by other Italian immigrants. We all waved goodbye to our families. I could see my father looking at me with arms open like he wanted to embrace me. My mum was leaning on a fence that was installed to stop people passing that point. She was looking down at her feet. Probably she was crying. My fiancé was also waving to me.
With hundreds of other Italian immigrants, I boarded the ship "Roma" that would take me to a new promised land.
I was the first one to leave home, out of my siblings and for the first time in my life, I was without my family and on my own for 29 days. All I saw around me was water. No land in sight.
During that time, I got seasick. I couldn't go to lunch or tea.
I made friends with a girl , I don't remember her name and a boy (Franco) from Potenza. He used to bring me fresh fruit as I couldn't keep anything down. The 3 of us were always together.
Immigrating to Australia was one of the most incredible experiences of my life and thinking what would be on my arrival. I had no idea. The name Australia sounded nice but who would be my new family and will they love me?

Australia
When I finally arrived at Port Melbourne, Australia, there were 4 people waiting for me. My mother's sister, aunty Francesca and uncle Eugenio and their son, my cousin, Tony with his girlfriend, Santina.
It was the first time that I had met them and on the way to their home, they were telling me how good Australia was and how it was a prosperous and growing country.
On arriving at their home, there were more people waiting to greet me. More relatives, in all 10. This was my new family. All living together.
As I look around, everything was looking nice, beautiful home, good food, electricity, beautiful furniture, I could even have a shower or bath as I pleased.
I liked it but soon I noticed, my aunty and all the family still sacrificed themselves to improve life as they were currently building a new house. They were renting and the rental house was very small. I had to share a room with my aunt and uncle.
My single bed was 70 pounds. At that time, we had English money. Not dollars. It took me over 6 months to pay for my bed.

Maria Aiello Costabile in Australia

After only one week in Australia, I got myself a job. I had to learn how to travel to and from work by bus and remember the road. It looked the same everywhere.
I had also to learn how to use the currency. I learned quickly how to work out the money.
Unable to speak English, it was very hard for me and took me a while to adjust and I mainly learned by listening to other people and picking up words it was later in life that I went to school to learn English.
I started to think that life was harder here than my life in Italy. A lot harder than what I ever imagine.
For a while, I kept writing to my father, telling him how homesick I was. But not a word from him.
Every night, before falling asleep, I was reading the letters from Italy and crying and then putting them under my pillow before falling asleep. When I received a new letter, I would put the old one in my suitcase.
After a while, my father responded to me saying that if I was still homesick, he would sacrifice himself and find the money to buy me a ticket to go back home. I felt sorry for him and couldn't do that to him so I put my heart and soul into it and accepted my new life.
Starting to make friends and learning more English , there were a few boys that would have liked to marry me and I was torn between my fiancé in Italy and boys here.
As my aunty kept on reminding me, if I was to marry one from here, I could have a better life as they are rich but if I marry the one from Italy, he will bring debts with him. I nearly changed my mind but my fiancé from Italy was broken hearted and kept telling me that if I leave him, he would kill himself by going to work and jumping off the 5th floor.
At the same time, I was learning more English and decided to forget money and get my fiancé from Italy. So I made an application for my fiancé to come here.

We got married on the 12th May, 1962
After 3 years he arrived. It was the 19th February, 1962. When I saw him arrive at Port Melbourne, he looked so handsome. I had forgotten how nice and kind and good looking he was.
We got married on the 12th May, 1962 and finally, I had someone who really loved me but also it was true what my aunty was telling me. He did bring a lot of debt from Italy, from a shop by the name of Mastru Porduu (Leopoldo), it was close to one million lire. We had to work and send money to Castrolibero, but we were happy and it didn't worry us. We were together for the rest of our life.
He found a job as a bricklayer and he worked 7 days a week.
I was working as a machinist for an upholstery company. I was good at my job and earning double of my wages every week. They called it a bonus. It is because I was very fast at my work.
Still we couldn't buy our home so we still rented a room with my cousins, Maria and Eduardo Greco.
In 1963, my first sibling arrived in Australia, my sister Carmela. I cried for one week just looking at her. My aunt couldn't understand it and kept asking me if my sister brought bad news with her from Italy but I assured her that it was not the case. I was only overjoyed to have my sister here with me.
We then moved house and ended up living in a house that belonged to one of the boys that wanted to marry me. He very often would whisper to me that I should have married him and the house would have been mine. We moved into the house with my sister, Carmela and paid rent.
Soon, my brother-in-law was coming from Italy and we filled the house, one by one with relatives from Italy, both from my side and my husband's side.

In November, 1963, the first of my 3 children was born
In November, 1963, the first of my 3 children was born, a baby boy named David. My husband was overjoyed. In September, 1965, another boy, named Renato was born. Now two boys, how wonderful. But still we couldn't buy our home.
Life was hard and I was still working as I used to do and had to take my two boys to an Italian lady's house for her to look after them while I was at work.
I worked 8 hours a day, had my two boys and there was 7 of us living in the house. I was a second mother figure to all of them and I was quite strict especially when my sisters had their fiancés. They didn't like me much and one of them was calling me "mamma matrice". Not in a nice way but I felt the responsibility and it didn't worry me.
One by one they got married and by that time, we bought our little house as well a block of land, which was actually near to where I live at the present time.
By September, 1968, a baby girl, named Aurora arrived. It was a very happy time for both my husband and me. We had our little house and our children, and we were very happy.
The same year, my sister Anna arrived and she lived with me until she got married.
As David, my little boy never let her sleep in the morning as he would go to her room and poke his finger in her eyes. She would get so angry.
We loved each other more than normal because we were in a foreign country and needed to stick together, for better or for worse.
Then we had decided to also make an application for my parents to join us here and by September, 1967, they arrived with my brother Frank and my two younger sisters Rita and Irma . My brother luigi had decided to emigrate to America ,he is the only one away from our family ,and we love and miss him so much.
I opened the door to Australia for all of my family and my husband's family. One by one, they all came here in search of a better life. We all worked hard to buy our homes. And I did achieve all what my father wished me to achieve.
The Australians were a bit jealous of us and called us "wogs" and they felt that we tried to take their jobs away from them as we were the favourite to get the jobs more than them as we worked hard. We were also not fussy in what jobs were available and took anything. That was because we had so much determination to get ahead.

On January 15th, 1969 a terrible tragedy hit my family
On January 15th, 1969 a terrible tragedy hit my family. My husband had a stroke and died on the job at the age of 34.
It was a Monday and as usual he got up to go to work. He took a look at our children and saw our youngest in the cot, sucking her hand. He said to me "Leave everything and feed her. Looks like she is very hungry". He then left for work.
It was the last moment we had together. A goodbye to last forever.
My world had crashed in right on top of me which left me alone with 3 children, no money and plenty of bills to pay. What was I going to do?
I was only 26, with a 5 year old, a 3 year old and a 3 ½ month old baby to look after.
How my life changed in a day, in a new, strange world.
All my family and relatives and people from my village put money together to pay the funeral expenses and because I was still connected to my work at the factory, they sent a sewing machine to my home so I could work from home as much as I wanted.
I started to work 1 week after the funeral. I used to work until 2 or 3 in the morning as work was my only consolation. I remember my son, Renato (the middle child) sleeping on a sofa near me while I sewed into the night. I would pick him up and take him to bed when I went myself.
I also was entitled to get the pension and at least give my children the chance to have a good education, just like everybody else.

Start from zero
But all that was not enough. I had to sell the block of land and also the house as I could not continue to pay the monthly payments.
I rented a room with an Italian family it was a huge room for me my children and my sowing machine ,I was still doing sewing and slowly I started to pick up and started to think of buying a new block of land and building a house on it for myself and children.
This time I bought very close to my parents and slowly, as I was making a bit of money I would pay for my house to be built. In other words, with each part of the house being built, I would pay that by cash and then save for the next bit to be built because I couldn't get a loan from the bank. It was a beautiful, Spanish style house when finished.
I stayed with my parents for a week or a little more before moving in until one day, my dad said to me, "Maria, your house is finished it is time that you and your children go".
So I then moved in but there was emptiness and what would have been wonderful was not.
I would rather have been renting and have my husband, rather the house that we dreamed of without him. There was emptiness in my heart.
My children grew up in that house and two of them got married from there. In that time, when I lost my husband, a wife's wardrobe should only be that of black clothing, forever. But I didn't see it that way. I did wear black but for less than 3 years.
When I told my father that I was going to stop wearing black, my father disapproved but I didn't care what people thought of me as I was doing nothing wrong. I was working hard to survive with my children.
It must have been the blood that I received from the hospital as, after I lost my husband, slowly, I got sick and became very anaemic. I had to go to hospital to have a blood transfusion. They gave me four big bags of blood. Must have been good blood because I returned home as a strong minded person. No one could tell me what to do.

Maria's Aiello Costabile family in Australia

I dedicated my life to my children.
I dedicated my life to my children.
To this day, I have always felt the ache in my heart. It has never gone away, but today, I look at my children, all grown up and mature with a good education.
They always have a job. David, with a Diploma of Safety Officer for a building construction, Renato an accountant with a Diploma of Banking and Finance and Manager of a Logistics company and Aurora, as a private Legal Secretary.
They have families of their own and I am very proud of my children and my Grandchildren who love me so much. They are Matthew aged 18, Natalie aged 14, Dean aged 11 and Julie age 9.
I even managed to go to school and learn proper English. I got 4 certificates for it and studied for 3 years. So I got to learn more English than my native language. I even enjoyed my classes and made friends.
Also in September 1975 I've received my certificate of Australian Citizenship.
When I reflect on my past, I feel so proud of myself for my achievements. For things like looking after my siblings in Italy who tell me that they look up to me as a second Mum and that I nurtured them with love. I feel that I do appreciate them more now than I did growing up in Italy.
I did sell the house, near my parent's house to build another house closer to my children. It is a huge, 26 square metre house but I love my space. I love it when my children and grandchildren come and stay at my place. They are the ones that fill my house with joy and love and I' m happy to say that I owe no money to no one because my house is all paid for.
It is a half an hour's drive to go to see my Mum. I drive a car and so there is no problem for me to travel twice a week to see her.
I also work a day or two a week near my Mum. I like to go to work because it keeps me alert and active as well as mixing with people. I am very independent.
I love my life that I live today and I have a lot of satisfaction. Even though I sacrificed myself in some things, I consider myself lucky and fortunate to be in this beautiful country.

Maria's house in Australia

In my heart, Italy

I think immigrants from all over the world have contributed in so many aspects and culture to Australian society. As a nation, we have benefitted from the diversity. While in my heart, Italy will always be my homeland but Australia is now my home and I love Australia.


By Maria Aiello Costabile
October 2010