And he's getting worse
If he had any sense
He'd be in bed with a graduate nurse
A couple of big specialists
High priced consultation
And outside waiting in the hall
Assorted logic small poor relations
His aches have got aches
His pains are in pain
And what sizzles and frizzles
Inside there all the smartest professors could not explain
-They wouldn't know what?
Be quick as you can
I might haven't got
You're dealing with not (cough!)
With not a well man
I'm not a well man
Get worse every year
All the medical doctors
Give one look
They're amazed
I'm still here
I should own a pharmacy
For just my prescriptions
My bills for only pills alone
Would chill you to the bone
With conniptions
What I have been through
No man could recite
It would make your heart break
And play a story that only
Turn yet it maybe could write
A tragical plot
How can I plan?
I might haven't got
You're dealing with not (cough!)
With not a well man
I'm not a well man
If you don't want to get nervous
Do yourself a great big service
Stay away please far from Seventh Avenue
You can lose your sense and reason
Guessing what style for next season
Yes, the dress business will make a wreck of you
It's a battle of fierce and grim
That depends on the ladies' whim
What'll Miss and Misses America's answer be
Will she say with a tossing head
And that rare guy wouldn't drop dead
Or she'll say : yes, this dress is really me
On guessing what, a day will say
A sheer impossibility
This poor kid's brave, he worked away
And try to build that industry
How crazy, bold and reckless
Can human beings be...
Hip, hip, hooray!
For the garment trade
Hear the cheer to push the music hits us everyone
Day after day...
They go on this way
To the cockeyed way the job that must be done
Off to the fray on the brave crusade
Gallant ladies' garment trade
Though in health got speed
In a gesture breed, made all answers on parade
What a business what a sack game
Yet it's about as much your business is a crap game
Snapper, zipper, bowler, button
All we know is what the experts know from nothin'
So the last line you got pie with
Coming right up is another you could die with
If you're right the dough could flow in
If you're not you haven't got a pot to sew with
Off to the fray on the brave crusade
Gallant ladies' garment trade
Though in health got speed
In a gesture breed, made all answers on parade
Off to the fray on the brave crusade
Gallant ladies' garment trade
Though in health got speed
In a gesture breed, made all answers on parade...
Miss Marmelstein!
Miss Marmelstein!
Miss Marmelstein!
Oh, why is it always Miss Marmelstein?
Miss Marmelstein?
Miss Marmelstein?
Other girls get called by their first names right away
They get cozy intimate ...
Do you know what I mean?
Nobody calls me: "hey, baby doll!"
Or "Honey Dear" or "Sweetie Pie"
Even my first name would be preferable
Though it's terrible, it might be better:
It's Yetta!
Or perhaps my second name that's Tessye
Spells T-E-S-S-Y-E!
But no, no, it's always Miss Marmelstein!
You'd think at least Miss M. they could try...
Miss Marmelstein!
Miss Marmelstein!
Miss Marmelstein!
Miss Marmelstein!
Miss Marmelstein!
Oh, I could die!
I'm a very willing secretary
Enjoy my work as my employer will corroborate
Except for one disappointment one fly in the ointment
It's great I mean simply great
But the aggravation of my situation
I might as well get it off my chest
It's the drum appellation
Oh pardon the big words
I apply But I was an English major at C.C.N.Y.
Drum appellation!
Well, literally I am persistently addressed
Persistently, perpetually, continually and inevitably addressed!
Believe me, it could drive a person positively psychosomatic
Why is it always Miss Marmelstein?
Miss Marmelstein?
Miss Marmelstein?
Other girls get called by their nick names right away
Slightly naughty or riske
Do you know what I mean?
Ha! Ha...Mmmmmmm!
Nobody calls me : "Koo-Chee-Koo" or "Boobala" or "Passion Pie"
Even "Hey There Babe!" thought not respectable
Ain't so objectable
It's kind of crummy but chummy
Of course if I got married, that would do it
So, where's the lucky guy?
Ha... Till then it still is Miss Marmelstein!
Everyday I get more and more fast
Miss Marmelstein!
Miss Marmelstein!
Miss Marmelstein!
Miss Marmelstein!
Miss Marmelstein!
Oh...Oh...Oh...! I could Bust!
As we get older, there's nothing surer
The rich get richer, the poor get poorer
Those small misfortunes all start to pile up
And it gets harder to keep a smile up
But we keep hoping, while all dreams linger
That we'll get lucky one fine day
Then once again fate gives us the finger
Once again with a sigh
We look up to the sky
With a quizzical eye
And quietly say:
What are they doing to us now?
What's the latest ruin to us now?
Someone up there is getting careless
What are they doing to us now?
Anyhow, what are they doing to us now?
Makes no difference if a man is slave or king born
He always is to pain and suffering
Naked, he's pushed out his new life to begin
Ain't or not
The awkward way that he came in?
When did he understand just why he's here
Clap comes from the dark
A big smack on the rear
From then on continuous without a stop
Ah, life's the same old story
Clop, clop, clop, clop, clop, clop
Science keeps advancing always on the run
All they seem to do is take from life the fun
Smoking, on and on,
It wears your heart away
Drinking shrinks for you the level day by day
Eating makes you fat
You weighted down to check
Sex you do, you don't, you'll have a nervous wreck
Future generations we are all to one
Hey, then do yourself a favor: don't get born,
Don't get born, don't get born!
What are they doing to us now?
What's the latest ruin to us now?
Careless, what are they doing to us now?
What are they doing...
What are they doing...
What are they doing...
What are they doing...
What are they doing to us now?
