I have always been a woman who arranges things,

For the pleasure

And the profit

It derives.

I have always been a woman who arranges things,

Like furniture and daffodils and lives.

If you want your sister courted, brother wed, or cheese imported:

Just leave everything to me.

If you want your roof inspected, eyebrows tweezed, or bills collected:

Just leave everything to me.

If you want your daughter dated, or some marriage consummated, for a rather modest fee.

If you want a husband spotted, boyfriend traced, or chicken potted:

I'll arrange for making all arrangements

Just leave everything to me.

If you want your ego bolstered, muscles toned, or chair upholstered:

Just leave everything to me.

Charming social introductions, expert mandolin instructions:

Just leave everything to me.

If you want your culture rounded, French improved, or torso pounded:

With a ten year guarantee.

If you want a birth recorded, collies bred, or kittens ported:

I'll proceed to plan the whole procedure

Just leave everything to me.

(Mr. Sullivan:

Where to, Dolly?

Dolly:

Yonkers, New York, to handle a highly personal matter for Mr. Horace Vandergelder, the well-known, unmarried, half-a-millionaire.

Mr. Sullivan:

Gonna marry him yourself, Dolly?

Dolly:

Why, Mr. Sullivan, whatever put such a preposterous idea into my head... your head!)

If you want a law abolished, jury swayed, or toenails polished:

Just leave everything to me.

If you want your liver tested, glasses made, cash invested:

Just leave everything to me.

If you want your children coddled, corsets pulled, or furs remodeled, or some nice, fresh fricassee.

If you want your bustle shifted, wedding planned, or bosom lifted

Don't be ashamed girls,

Life is full of secrets, and I keep 'em!

I'll discretely use my own discretion

I'll arrange for making all arrangements

I'll proceed to plan the whole procedure

Just leave everything to me!

It takes a woman

To quietly plan

To take him,

And change him

To her kind of man

And to gently lead him

Where fortune can find him

And not let him know

That the power behind him

Was that dainty woman

That fragile woman,

That sweetheart,

That mistress,

That wife...

Mmm uhm mmm....

CORNELIUS:

Out there

There's a world outside of Yonkers

Way out there beyond this hick town, Barnaby

There's a slick town, Barnaby

Out there

Full of shine and full of sparkle

Close your eyes and see it glisten, Barnaby

Listen, Barnaby...

Put on your Sunday clothes,

There's lots of world out there

Get out the brillantine and dime cigars

We're gonna find adventure in the evening air

Girls in white in a perfumed night

Where the lights are bright as the stars!

Put on your Sunday clothes,

We're gonna ride through town

In one of those new horsedrawn open cars

CORNELIUS & BARNABY:

We'll see the shows at Delmonicos

And we'll close the town in a whirl

And we won't come until we've kissed a girl!

DOLLY:

Put on your Sunday clothes when you feel down and out

Strut down the street and have your picture took

Dressed like a dream your spirits seem to turn about

That Sunday shine is a certain sign

That you feel as fine as you look!

DOLLY & AMBROSE:

Beneath your parasol, the world is all a smile

That makes you feel brand new down to your toes

DOLLY, AMBROSE, CORNELIUS, & BARNABY:

Get out your feathers,

Your patent leathers

Your beads and buckles and bows

For there's no blue Monday in your Sunday...

No Monday in your Sunday...

No Monday in your Sunday clothes!

CHORUS:

Put on your Sunday clothes when you feel down and out

Strut down the street and have your picture took

DOLLY& CHORUS:

Dressed like a dream your spirits seem to turn about

That Sunday shine is a certain sign

That you feel as fine as you look!

WOMEN:

Beneath your parasol, the world is all a smile

CHORUS:

That makes you feel brand new down to your toes

Get out your feathers

Your patent leathers

Your beads and buckles and bows

For there's no blue Monday in your Sunday clothes!

[Dance interlude]

CHILDREN:

Put on your Sunday clothes when you feel down and out

Strut down the street and have your picture took

WOMEN:

Dressed like a dream your spirits seem to turn about

CHORUS:

That Sunday shine is a certain sign

That you feel as fine as you look!

Beneath your bowler brim the world's a simple song

A lovely lilt that makes you tilt your nose

Get out your slickers, your flannel knickers

Your red suspenders and hose

For there's no blue Monday in your Sunday clothes!

DOLLY:

Ermengarde keep smiling no man wants some little meaning!

Ambrose do a turn, let me see!

Mr.Hackl, Mr.Tucker don't forget Irene and Minnie,

Just forget you ever heard a word from me!

All Aboard!

CHORUS:

All Aboard!

DOLLY:

All Aboard!

CHORUS:

All Aboard!

DOLLY:

All aboard!

CHORUS:

All Aboard! All Aboard! All Aboard! All Aboard!

Put on your Sunday clothes there's lots of world out there

Put on your silk cravat and patent shoes

We're gonna find adventure in the evening air

DOLLY:

To town we'll trot to a smokey spot

Where the girls are hot as a fuse!

CHORUS:

Put on your silk high hat and at the turned up cuff

We'll wear a hand made gray suede buttoned glove

DOLY:

We wanna take New York by Storm!

CHORUS:

We'll join the Astors

At Tony Pastor's

And this I'm positive of

That we won't come home

No we won't come home

No we won't come home until we fall in love!

DOLLY [speaking]:

Put your hand on her waist and stand

With her right in your left hand

And one, this one

And one two three,

Ah! one two three,

Oh, no, this one...

And one two three, one two three...

CORNELIUS [speaking]:

Look I'm dancing!

Well, I was.

DOLLY [speaking]:

Of course you were, Mr. Hackl!

[singing]

Take the someone whose arms you're in

Hold onto her tight and spin

And one two three, one two three, one two three

CORNELIUS:

Look, I'm dancing!

DOLLY:

Come here.

Turn around and turn around, try floating through the air

Can't you be a little more aesthetic?

CORNELIUS:

Don't you think my dancing has a polish and a flair?

DOLLY:

The word I think I'd use is athletic!

CORNELIUS:

Well my heart is about to burst

My head is about to pop

And now that I'm dancing who cares if I ever stop!

DOLLY:

That's wonderful, Mr. Hackl!

CORNELIUS:

...Look, everybody!

I, Cornelius Hackl...

Sport ... I'm dancing!

DOLLY:

You're next, Mr. Tucker!

Glide and step and then step and glide

BARNABY:

And everyone stand aside!

DOLLY:

Oh, not yet Mr. Tucker!

One, two, three...

One, two, three, ah!

CORNELIUS:

Look, he's dancing!

DOLLY:

I think he's phenomenal!

You could learn to polka if you worked a week or so

Or the tango filled with passion seething

BARNABY:

I might join the chorus of the castle garden show

DOLLY:

Whatever you do, Mr. Tucker,

Kee-keep breathing

ALL:

For my heart is about to burst

My head is about to pop

And now that we're dancing who cares if we ever stop!

CHORUS:

Make the music weave a spell

Whirl away your worry

Things look almost twice as well

When you're slightly blurry

As around and around you go

Your spirits will hit the top

And now that we're dancing

Who cares if we ever stop

One-two-three

One-two-three

One-two-three

One-two

And now that we're dancing

Who cares if we ever stop!

DOLLY:

Before the parade passes by

Before it all moves on,

And only I'm left

Before the parade passes by

I've gotta get in step

While there's still time left

I'm ready to move out in front

Life without life has no reason or rhyme left

With the rest of them

With the best of them

I wanna hold my head up high

I need a goal again

I need a drive again

I wanna feel my heart coming alive again

Before the parade passes by...

Before the parade passes by

I've gotta go and taste Saturday's high life

Before the parade passes by

I've gotta get some life back into my life

I'm ready to move out in front

I've had enough of just passing by life

With the rest of them

With the best of them

I can hold my head up high

For I've got a goal again

I've got a drive again

I wanna feel my heart coming alive again

Before the parade passes by

[Interlude]

CHORUS:

When the parade passes by

Listen and hear that brass harmony growing

When the parade passes by

Pardon me if my old spirit is showing

All of those lights over there

Seem to be telling me where I'm going

DOLLY:

When the whistles blow

And the cymbals crash

And the sparklers light the sky

I'm gonna raise the roof

I'm gonna carry on

Give me an old trombone

Give me an old baton

Before the parade passes by!

Horace.

Horace Vandergelder,

Mrs. Horace Vandergelder

Just leave ev'rything to me

Though it wont be like the first time

How can it be like the first time?

But why does it have to be?

Don't look for shooting stars

For love is only love

You touch and still you touch the proud

Don't listen for those bells

For love is only love

And if it's love you've found

Your heart won't hear a sound

And you hold his hand

You only hold his hand

The violins are all a bluff

But if you're really wise

The silence of his eyes

Will tell you

Love is only love

And it's wonderful enough

Without the shooting star

Without the sounds of bells

Without the violins

Love is wonderful enough!

DOLLY:

Hello, Rudy

Well, Hello Harry

It's so nice to be back home where I belong

You are looking swell, Manny

I can tell, Danny

You're still glowin',

You're still crowin'

You're still ... goin' strong

I feel the room swayin'

For the band's playin'

One of my old fav'rite songs from 'way back when

So, bridge that gap, fellas

Find me an empty lap, fellas

Dolly'll never go away again

WAITERS:

Hello, Dolly,

Well Hello, Dolly,

It's so nice to have you back where you belong

You're looking swell, Dolly,

We can tell, Dolly,

You're still glowin',

You're still crowin'

You're still goin' strong.

We feel the room swayin'

For the band's playin'

One of your old fav'rite songs from 'way back when, so...

DOLLY:

Here's my hat fellas

I'm stayin' where I'm at, fellas

WAITERS:

Promise you'll never go away again

DOLLY:

I went away from the lights of 14th street

And into my personal haze

But now that I'm back in the lights of 14th Street

Tomorrow will be brighter than the good old days

WAITERS:

Those good old days

DOLLY:

Tell 'em to be sweet!

WAITERS:

Hello, Dolly

Well Hello Dolly!

Well hello, hey look there's Dolly!

DOLLY:

Glad to see you Hank,

Let's thank my lucky star

WAITERS:

Your lucky star

DOLLY:

You're lookin' great, Stanley

Lose some weight,

I think, I think you did,Stanley?

Dolly's overjoyed and overwhelmed and over par

WAITERS:

I hear the ice tinkle

DOLLY:

Do you hear the ice tinkle

WAITERS:

See the lights twinkle

DOLLY:

Can you see the lights twinkle

WAITERS:

And you still get glances from us handsome men

So...

DOLLY:

Look at you all,

You're all so handsome

Golly gee, fellas

Find me a empty knee, fellas

WAITERS:

Dolly'll never go away again

...

LOUIS:

Well, hello Dolly

DOLLY:

Look who's here!

LOUIS:

Dolly, this is Louis, Dolly

DOLLY:

Hello, Louis!

LOUIS:

It's so nice to have you back where you belong

DOLLY:

I am so glad to be back!

LOUIS:

Are you lookin' swell, Dolly

DOLLY:

Thank you, Louis!

LOUIS:

I can tell, Dolly

DOLLY:

Does it show?

LOUIS:

You're still glowin',

You're still crowin'

You're still

BOTH:

Uhm...goin' strong

LOUIS:

I feel the room swayin'

DOLLY:

Pee pee pah dah pee pah

LOUIS:

And the band's playin'

DOLLY:

pah pah pah dee pah dee pah pah

LOUIS:

One of our old favorite songs from way back when, so!

DOLLY:

Pah pah pah pah pah pah pah I remember it so,

It was my favorite!

LOUIS:

Show some snap, fellas

Find her an empty lap, yeah!

DOLLY:

Yeahuuhm!

BOTH:

Dolly'll never go away again...

WAITERS:

Well, well Hello, Dolly,

Well, Hello, Dolly,

It's so nice to have you back where you belong

You're looking swell, Dolly, (wow)

We can tell, Dolly, (wow)

You're still glowin',

You're still crowin'

You're still goin' strong.

I hear the ice tinkle

DOLLY:

I hear it tinkle

WAITERS:

See the lights twinkle

DOLLY:

I see them twinkle

WAITERS:

And you still get glances from us handsome men

So...

DOLLY:

Mmmm, Wow wow wow, fellas

WAITERS:

Hey, Yeah!

DOLLY:

Look at the old girl now, fellas

WAITERS:

Wow!

DOLLY & WAITERS:

Dolly'll never go away

Dolly'll never go away

Dolly'll never go away again.

Goodbye,

Goodbye,

Goodbye.

Goodbye,

Goodbye,

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Don't try to stop me Horace, please...

Wave your little hand and whisper

So long dearie

You ain't gonna see me anymore

And when you discover that your life is dreary

Don't you come a knockin' at my door

'Cause I'll be all dolled up

And singin' that song

That says you dog,

I told you so

So wave your little hand and whisper

So long dearie

Dearie, should have said so long

So long ago

Because you've treated me so rotten and rough

I've had enough of feelin' low

So wave your little hand and whisper

So long dearie

Dearie would have said so long

So long ago

For I can hear that choo choo callin' me on

To a fancy new address

Yes, I can hear that choo choo callin' me on

On board that happiness express

I'm gonna learn to dance and drink and smoke a cigarette

I'm go'n as far away from Yonkers as a girl can get

So...

And on those cold winter nights, Horace...

You can snuggle up to your cash register.

It's a little lumpy but it rings!

Don't come a knockin' I'll be all dolled up

And singin' that song

That says you dog,

I told you so

So Horace, you will find your life a sad old story

You'll be livin' in that lonesome territory

When you see your Dolly shuffle off to glory

Oh I should have said so long...

How could I have been wrong?

Oh, I should have said so long...

So long ago!

HORACE:

Hello, Dolly!

Well, hello, Dolly!

It's so nice to have you here

Where you belong

I never knew Dolly

Without you, Dolly

Life was awfully flat

And more than that

Was awfully wrong

DOLLY:

Here's my hat, Horace!

I'm staying where I’m at, Horace!

Dolly will never go away...

HORACE:

Wonderful woman!

BOTH:

Again. . .

CHORUS:

Put on you Sunday clothes

When you feel dawn and out

Strut down the street and have your picture took

Dressed like a dream your spirits seem to turn about

That Sunday shine is a certain sign

That you feel as fine as you look!

 

Take the someone whose arms you're in

Hold onto her tight and spin

And one two three,

One two three, one two three

Look!

 

CORNELIUS:

I held her

For an instant

But my arms felt sure and strong

CHORUS:

It only takes a moment

To be loved a whole life long...

 

HORACE:

Yes, it takes a woman

A dainty woman

A sweetheart, a mistress,

A wife

MEN:

Oh yes,

It takes a woman

A fragile woman

To bring you the sweet things in life!

 

CHORUS:

Well, well, hello, Dolly!

Well, hello, Dolly!

It' so nice to have you back

Where you belong

You're looking swell, Dolly!

We can tell, Dolly!

You're still glowin’

You're still crowin’

You're still goin’ strong

Just see the crowd swayin’

For the band's playin’

One of your old favorite songs

From way back when

So...

DOLLY:

Wow, wow, wow, fellas

Look at the old girl now, fellas!

CHORUS:

Dolly, you’ll never go away

Dolly, you’ll never go away

Dolly, you’ll never go away

Again!

 

 

Written by J. Herman