Questo è un breve pezzetto...sulla nascita della nutella...
Once upon a time, many, many, many, ma'na cifra of many years ago, at the
beginning of the initiation of the mond, there was the caos. One day, God
(God is the nome d'art of Dio), God, who was disoccupated, had a folgorant
idea and so God created the Nutell.
And God saw that the Nutell was
good, very good, very very good, good 'na cifra. The mangiation of God was
long. He manged one million of barattols of Nutell sfrutting the fact that
God has not a Mamm that strills if you sbaff too much Nutell....... And
after this mangiation, God invented the Water Closed Run, the cors in the
cabinet, and some Nutell's derivates like the red bubbons, the panz, the
cellulit and ceter, and ceter.
After di which (dopodichè') he invented
Adamo ed Eva and all the paradise and he diss to Adamo and Eva: "Now you
have all the Paradise, you can do everything, very tutt: you have the
permission to eat, to drink, to kiss, to scop; nothing lavor, nothing affit,
nothing concors of impiegats, nothing cod alla post, nothing IRPEF, ILOR.
Only very ozious life: television, telenovels, football, moviols,
process of Monday, appell of Tuesday, cassazion of Wednesday, and ceter,
and ceter. You have gratis restaurants, cinemas, theaters, all the Paradise
is yours: air-conditioned, autom riscaldament, moquette, parquett, tresset,
bidet, omelette, eccet, eccet.... "There's just one thing, remember, in tutt
the Paradise just one thing absolutely prohibited.
Come, come to me
in the giardin: this is "the Nocciol", the alber of the Nutell. Only this
alber of the Nutell is prohibited, because I like the Nutell very much, very
very much, much 'na cifra and I want all the Nutell, tutt the Nutell for
During the prim temps, Adamo and Eva were very happy. Adamo
said:"What a cool! ('Cool' is not in Italian 'freddo', no, 'What a cool'
means 'Che cul') All the Paradise is nostr!" And everyday, ognigiorn, they
discovered something new. A lot of scoperts, many scoperts, many many
scoperts, 'na cifra di scoperts. One day the scopert of the hot water, one
day the scopert of the spaghettis, one day the cigarettes, and ceter, and
ceter. But one day, a trist day, a very very trist day, trist 'na cifra,
Adamo and Eva fecer the scopert of the first colazion.
And after the
scopert of the cappuccin, the scopert of the aranch succ, the scopert of the
cornetts, they understood that something was mancant.
Adamo "Don't you think that qualcos is mancant here, proprio here, 'ncopp
this fett?" "Second me" Eva risposed "'ncopp the fett you have to metter
burr and marmelade." "No, no Eva, you know that the marmelade schif
myself. I want 'ncopp this fett something very particular, very very
particular, particular 'na cifra. What do you think about the Nutell?"
"No, Adamo you are scording that the Signor said that's vietat!" "Yes, I
remember, but only a little assaggiation, don't succed nothing!"
Adamo sces in the cortil where the alber of the Nutell was and he pres a
small barattol and spalmed the brown cream on the fett and assagged the
Nutell. Adamo and Eva don't ebber the time to exprimer the godiment that the
tuons and fulmins apparved in the ciel and one voice said: "Potevamo
stupirv you with special effects, but I'm God, not Fantagod! Adamo, Eva,
come here! I'm very incazz with you, very very incazz, incazz 'na cifra! How
did you permit to tocc the Nutell? Didn't you remember that it was
prohibited?" "Cazz!" esclamed Adamo "It was prohibited! Oh, sorry, God,
I'm very very sorry, sorry 'na cifra, God, I really really was completely
scordat..." "Don't do that fint tont, Adamo, I'm God, I can see everything,
very tutt, and I know that you and the woman have deliberatament assaggiated
the Nutell. So you have a big punhition, a very castig for your peccat.
But siccom I'm sconfinatly good, you can choose, you have two scelts:
"Scelt number 1: nothing Nutell for ever and ever in the secols of the
secols, amen!" "Nooo!" Eva was piagnucoling "It's a thing very tragic,
very very tragic, tragic 'na cifra!" "Aspett!" said God "Don't be
frettolous woman..... "Scelt number 2: you can take the Nutell, no problem,
let's prend, prend, but for you is the cacciation out of the Paradise. You
will have to lavorar with the sudor of your front, you will zapp the terr,
you'll have mal of chien and, like this don't bastass, everytime you will
mang Nutell, the malediction of the brufols, of the mal of panch, of the
cacarel will be cadent n you." "Ale'!" esclaimed Adamo "Thank you
God, thank you, we don't interess the cacciation dal Paradise, the important
is to have the Nutell! Goodbye! Ciao, ciao!" And so Adamo and Eva were
cacciated and this original peccat and this malediction cadded on lor and on
lor discendents, and on the discendents of the discendents. Infact,
tutt'ogg, you can veder in the pubblicity all the ragazz that per aver one
fett of pan and Nutell they scalan the mountains they stay in a tend al
fredd and al gel and ceter, and ceter. But the final pensier of tutti
noi is "It's meglio faticar and soffrir with the Nutell piuttost che the
Terrestr Paradise senz the Nutell." e here finisch the story......content?
liberamente tratto da "Nutella Nutellae"....non mi ricordo di chi... Grugna