Notes:

Poor Rociel, ne? ^^; Thank you very much for reading, feedback always welcome. XD

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Chapter II [Knife of Romance]

Kizu.. Boku no kizu..  Kimi wa miteru? Hen desu ne.. *Doku doku.*

***

            Rociel was ill prepared for the sight that awaited him when he swung open the wooden door. The energy hovering above his hand cast the room into an eerie glow. In the centre of the room, Heaven’s most noble and loyal Cherubim Katan was lying motionlessly on the floor. Red liquid pooled beneath him; his face and arms bore long bloody scratches.  Katan was perspiring heavily, his skin and hair slick with sweat and his own blood. His mouth was slightly open; the muscles in the jaw had gone slack.  A sudden cough wracked his body; more blood joined the puddles that littered the floor. The pale complexion, the crumpled form gave rise to Rociel’s mind the image of a fallen angel.  A delicate and fragile angel. So easy to meld, so easy to break. The words Rociel had wanted to utter died before they reached his tongue.  He clenched a fist; the energy winked out and the room dimmed, once again only illuminated by poor light that wafted in from beyond the doorway. In the corner of his eye he saw that the coffin lay in pieces at the very back of the room. More active now, are you? Carefully, he moved Katan so that he was resting on his back. Hurting yourself instead of others.. Really now, that's just like you.

            “Why?” he asked softly. “Why do you torture yourself?”

            Katan’s eyelids fluttered open. When Rociel finally came into focus, he began to smile. As weak as he was, there was nothing lacking in the emotion behind those penetrating eyes. There were no accusations; no anger or resentment was present in that look.  There was only…

            “Rociel-sama”, Katan said, his voice was hoarse and low. “Shh,” Rociel hushed him. He bent down to stroke his forehead, brushing away a few stray strands of hair.  Katan's blood and sweat mingled on his fingers but he did not seem to take notice or care. Katan, dear Katan.. What is it that you want?

            Neither of them spoke, and silence settled down on the two. It was not a separating silence. Rather, it bound the two angels together; it draped over them like a cozy blanket.  Katan found that the tight knots in his muscles began to uncurl and relax. For Rociel at that moment, there was no war of heaven versus hell, angel versus demon or angel versus angel.  The only challenge was in the form of the angel that lay before him. He ran his hands through Katan’s hair; even in the darkened room it still looked so beautiful. Of course you are beautiful, I always knew you would be.

“You have changed.”  Katan broke the silence and the moment of peace passed. Rociel’s hand stilled its stroking and fell to his side. “I knew that I would follow Rociel-sama with or without the pill, but I do not want my mind to be tampered with. You do not know what it is like, to have someone else's desires invade the mind in a constant stream. I am myself; I was and am willing to die if that meant freedom. This.. This was a test.. I had to answer for myself, how far am I willing to go? How much am I willing to lose and change to be with you?”

            Katan did not speak of it, but they both knew what had initially caused the invisible rift to form between them. The incident concerning Kirie, the angel that Rociel had let die at the hands of the Messiah. He had thought the Cherubim would have been more logical about the whole matter. His plan had called for the inevitable demise of one life, why couldn’t Katan be happy that it Rociel had chosen Kirie instead of him?  She would have never made it far ahead in the game anyway; she had lacked essential common sense and experience. Katan had rushed headlong into battle in a futile attempt to rescue the pathetic thing. His current state was the result of that reckless action.

Rociel brought his face close to Katan, so close that Katan could feel his warm breath tingle on his cheek.  “And what have you discovered, my dearest Katan?” Rociel whispered into an ear.  He began to ruffle the other man’s hair in a show of proposed affection, long graceful fingers dipping into the smooth strands.

            Katan shut his eyes, and slowly took in a deep breath. There was definitely hesitation, but when he spoke his voice was hard and steady. “You are poison, Rociel-sama. You are a deadly poison that slowly kills everything you touch. You cause decay; you cause ugly destruction.” To Rociel, there was nothing more horrible that could have been said, surprise clearly showing on his face. He recoiled, his soul seemed to wrench in its place. Ugly.. Ugly? Am I Ugly? It hurt him to hear these words coming from the mouth of his Cherubim. Cruel, merciless words. They didn't suit him.

Other voices had suddenly joined in with Katan’s, ghostly echoes of the Cherubim’s. They came from nowhere and everywhere, invading his thoughts. Disembodied voices of dead spirits, they had come all the way from Hades to condemn him at this moment. Hissing and growling, they were a cacophony of voices.

Heartless beast!

Ugly vain wretch.

Your leadership has only lead your followers to ruin, as they blindly leap into the chasm..

Murderer, murderer.. Killing, killing. All you do is.. Kill. Kll, kill.. Always.. Killing. Always.. Always..

 Dead things should stay dead!  Rociel's lips were moving, but no sound came forth.

 “You are like a crow, wherever you walk death follows closely behind. Don’t you ever look behind you, at your dark shadow? Only, it isn’t really your shadow is it? It is your dark hateful heart. Selfishness, greed, and self-conceited; how many times have you sinned? The title of Angel, is that nothing more than a joke?”  It was like a twist of the knife in Rociel’s gut. It stung him, piercing through his flesh. His dear, dear Katan was holding the knife and the spirits were helping to drive it into him. He felt pain, torrents of pain. But there was no knife; there was no physical attack. Why then, were his senses drowning in agony? How could Katan make him feel this way? Then the screams started. Horrible cries and wails ripped into his ears, hurling more hateful words at him. How ghastly they sounded, inhuman and vile. He covered his ears with his hands, shaking his head in denial and desperation.  Go away! Just go away!  But they came again and again increasing in volume.

            Katan continued on, seemingly oblivious to the effect of his words. “Do you know what everyone in Atziluth says behind your back? Do you know what they say? You must know, you see everything. You just choose not to hear it. Well, I will repeat the words for you now.”

            “Rociel-sama… You are a monster.”

A long silence followed, and inwardly Katan gave a long shuddering sigh. He hadn’t wanted to say all that. He didn’t, he truly didn’t. When he pondered upon the words he knew that they were true, but they were truths that he abhorred.  He had always kept them in a dark closet, but it was necessary to draw them out now. Only in the open could he combat the truth along with the lies, to save his Rociel-sama. Both painful truth and lies fester over time, it was best to take care of them quickly. He was mildly surprised that there had been no immediate repercussion from Rociel. He had expected something violent.

Please let him be alright. God, please..

Finally, he gained enough courage to open his eyes once more.  If he was to be killed for his stupidity, then so be it. He should have been dead already. But when he looked up, all he saw was darkness. Turning his head, an empty space greeted him where Rociel should have been.

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