Notes: Thank you for reading for the very end~ And thank you to all that have given feedback~
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Chapter V [Eien]
Katan stalked around the room, almost like a madman. The Cherubim was searching for any trace of Teiaiel, or even Barbara. He was somewhat relieved when he did not see Teiaiel’s small form in the main room, but that did not mean she was safe. Katan heard the sound of glass shattering on the ground, the sudden noise startling him. Cautiously, he advanced towards the sound. It was coming from behind the bar. Katan already had a sense of what he was going to see, and he did not want to see it. Truly moving against his will, he brought himself to the source of the sound.
Barbara lay on the cold ground, her body completely broken. Her limbs had been snapped in turned in such a way that they were not meant to be, twisted at odd angles. Katan winced at the sight, stooping down to meet Barbara’s gaze. There was pain and confusion, but the most prominent look in her eyes seemed to be the one that was asking him, Why? Why am I bleeding now, why am I at death’s door now?
Katan hung his head. “I’m sorry. We should not have stayed. I’m sorry.” The words he spoke seemed dull even to his ears. His feelings were genuine, but his words did not seem to be able to reflect it. They seemed dull, inadequate. There was a flicker of understanding in Barbara’s expression, but the look of sadness seemed to deepen even more.
Barbara was certain she could not hold on for much longer. She knew she would never see Teiaiel, nor the man that she had been waiting for all this time.
Decades ago, Barbara had made a promise on Earth to a man. Against the rules of heaven, she had fallen in love with a mere mortal. They were even to be wed. However, Barbara was called back, to continue her duties for Atziluth in heaven. As punishment for her sin, she would age just as any regular woman would. She would grow old and die.
Nonetheless, the two made a promise; he would one day come to heaven and find her. She would wait for him, for surely he would come. They would then be together forever, two inseparable souls. But he had never come. She opened a bar, in hopes to hear any news of this man through the ones that frequented the area, but she never did.
“Is there anything I can do?” Katan pleaded her. “Any deed, any last favour I will do my best to accomplish.”
Anything to lighten this heavy weight.
“Nothing, there is nothing you can do,” she said, her voice ringing with a tone of finality. Katan began to protest, but Barbara did not seem to hear him. The light in her eyes was dimming rapidly. Barbara must be seeing her life flash before her eyes, the last moment of insight that came to one’s consciousness before death. When the fires died out, he passed his hand gently over her eyes to close them. It was his fault. Rociel had not come for the tavern’s denizens, nor Teiaiel. He had come for him. Teiaiel was the bait, and if Katan wanted her to live, he would have to spear himself onto the fishing hook.
Fool! Everything, everyone I touch becomes unsafe. I should have known better. I should have known better. I should have..
The tavern had gone cold; as if it was a moment frozen in time. The only sound being made was the splish splash noises of dripping blood.
“What have you done?.” Katan curled his hands into fists, as they began to shake. “Why? Tell me.”
There was a breath of hot air against his neck, as a voice all too familiar answered him. “You belong to me, little one. That’s the only reason I need. That’s the only reason you need.”
Katan snapped. He whirled around, bringing his fist upwards in a swing of rage. Desperation bit him. Anger clawed at his mind, at his shaken soul.
Rociel caught it easily with his right hand, his slim body more powerful than it looked.
“My dear Cherubim, is that how you greet a friend?” His expression was merry, as if greeting an old companion that he had not seen for a long period of time.
“Friend,” Katan said bitterly. “You don’t kill a friend’s loved ones.”
Rociel’s smile didn’t falter, but his grip tightened around Katan’s hand significantly. The knuckles of Katan’s hand gave way with a pop. The cherubim grunted in pain, and brought his other fist to bear. Rociel was faster. He moved in; a predator grabbing its prey. One hand held Katan’s fist captive, while the other began to trace Katan’s lips lightly.
“I did leave that slums girl alive,” Rociel conceded, as if confessing something he shouldn’t have. Katan glared. He hated Rociel’s nonchalant manner, how he talked about lives as if they were no more than sacrificial pawns.
“Ah, but they were sacrificial pawns,” Rociel said delightedly. He withdrew his hands and clapped them together, letting out a little chuckle. “You’ve been my goal all along.”
“Why?” Katan choked out. His fingers curled and uncurled. “I am nothing, a past servant. A lost cause. Why can you not let me be alone?” He turned his back on Rociel. His guilt haunted him closely. He couldn’t save Barbara, couldn’t save the others that had died. In fact, he himself was the reason for their deaths.
Rociel’s hand buried itself in Katan’s hair and yanked, forcing him to stumble until he turned around again. “Come back with me,” he commanded, his voice low. “There is nothing left for you here, my disobedient cherubim.”
“Where is Teiaiel?” Katan demanded, shaking himself free. If Rociel would ignore his questions, then he would ignore his commands.
Rociel’s look hardened. “What does it matter? You should not befriend fallen
ones.”
A little to
his own surprise, Katan shot back, “There are a lot of things one should not
befriend.”
In a white flash, Katan felt more, rather than saw a blast that exploded against his abdomen. The impact made him fall backwards onto his back, his body skidding a little from the slippery blood and alcohol-slicked floor.
The light and blast had left Katan somewhat disoriented. He shook his head, trying to clear it. However, when it did clear and his vision settled to normal, he found Rociel hovering over him.
“I killed her,” Rociel hissed spitefully. “I tore that tiny heart from her chest, still plump and ripe with blood. I cut open her small skull, and let her exposed brain wither and burn in the ovens.”
Katan listened motionlessly, stunned. His jaw quivered slightly, but no came. Rociel smirked, satisfied by his reaction.
You are mine, only mine.
“You can still say your good byes, you know,” Rociel told him offhandedly, as if it was a detail to be dismissed. “When an angel eater is killed, their spirits remain anchored to the material world a little longer, due to the taint that is developed as a consequence from all the angel flesh they have devoured. If you listen, you may hear her words to you. ”
“I can not stomach lies,” Katan bit out.
“I tell less lies
then you think,” Rociel responded.
He was tired of the endless guessing games, but he found himself indulging in Rociel once more, giving him the benefit of the doubt. He closed his eyes and concentrated, allowing his thoughts to float within the expanse of the room. True to Rociel’s word, Katan began to hear quiet whispers that he could just barely discern. He focused his thoughts towards the direction by which he estimated they were coming from.
Onii-chan
Onii-chan
Teiaiel?
Its all right. I understand. I knew.. That you would choose Him. There was always someone you whispered to, talked to in your dreams. Your heart was always filled with images of him.
No! I’m sorry. I failed in my duty to protect you.
When you didn’t come.. We all cried and screamed, but you never came. You
slept on, your ears closed to our pleas for help.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Its my fault. All my fault. I wanted to come, I didn’t know, I didn’t know-
I am going to find the true heaven, I can see it now… Somewhere far away from here. This is not heaven, this was hell. Farewell, onii-chan.
Teiaiel! Wait!
There was no answer; and there would never be another. Katan suppressed his tears, his fingernails digging into his palms. Teiaiel had been a precious friend, he did not think of her as a mere child angel. They had enjoyed their company together, she had been the light that had entered his life and lit the waning candle. Katan could feel a part of him missing, more of his naivety and innocence nibbled away. Katan’s gloved hand began to twitch uncontrollably, the wires having a life of their own. It was as if his right hand was made from a nest of wriggling worms.
So this was his journey’s end. Katan had run away from Atziluth, and now he was back where he started. Things had come around in a full circle. Katan thought he had cut his leash, but only now did he realize that it was still present; pulling at him deeply. Katan shuddered. Hindsight had just showed him something he should have known all along. He would never be free. As long as he remained who he was, Rociel would always exist in him.
The futility of it all bore down on the cherubim. Katan wanted to blame Rociel. Blame him for all time, hate him for all the lives he had taken. But would that not be denying himself? Rociel was his creator, his master, his…
Rociel kneeled over him. The Inorganic angel took his right hand in his. He turned it over, inspecting it. Katan did not have the energy nor the will to push him away. He was exhausted, all he desired now was peace. Rociel peeled off the glove to reveal the incomplete form of his hand. The wires that lived in his palms and fingers thrashed violently; Katan winced a little in pain.
Soft lips enveloped his fingertips; Rociel began suckling them slowly, running his tongue over the flesh. Confused, Katan looked up only to see Rociel’s eyes closed in concentration. The aching in his hand vanished, Rociel’s tongue was like an elixir. But no medicine is this intoxicating.
The wires bent, retreating back into his hand. New skin formed and spread until the wires were completely out of sight. Rociel let the hand slip from his mouth, falling to Katan’s side. It was good as new, the new skin a little pink, and the hand slightly wet.
Rociel smiled. I always mend my broken toys.
Rociel lowered himself so that his body was pressing against his. Katan said nothing, allowing the contact. Rociel showered Katan kisses on his forehead, similar to the ones he had received from him as a boy. However, this time the kisses were longer, the lips lingering on Katan’s skin. It was different, as if marking something new.
The Inorganic angel rose, bringing Katan up with him. He wrapped his arms around him, and buried his face in Katan’s chest.
“I want you to never leave my side again, Katan,” Rociel spoke breathily.
“Rociel-sama…”
Katan could smell the scent of carnations in Rociel’s hair. It was sweet, overpowering the rancid stink of blood and gore in the room. Rociel’s wings burst forth, three wings rising from his back in a sweeping motion. The feathers were as white as snow, a few brushed against Katan’s cheek. The cherubim felt an itching sensation along his own back; he stiffened uncomfortably.
“Relax,” Rociel instructed. Katan complied, allowing the feeling to take hold and spread.
Slowly, Katan’s own wings unfolded from the confines of his flesh. It hurt at first, as he had not stretched his wings for a long time. Rociel left his embrace for a moment. Moving behind Katan, he nipped at one of Katan’s wings, as if to test it. Katan shivered; the wings of an angel was where they were the most sensitive. The worst torture and sentence an angel in heaven could ever receive was to have their wings clipped.
Rociel came in front of him again, and threw his arms over Katan’s shoulders. Their wings overlapped, feather brushing against feather delicately. Katan trembled a little, not accustomed to the feelings that assaulted his senses. It was almost overpowering.
“You will return?”
To where else would he go? To where else would he belong?
“Hai.”
“Katan,
tell me.. Am I beautiful?”
“Hai.
Rociel-sama is forever beautiful.”
I’ve shattered your heart, Katan. But we’ll splice it together again.
I've seen your smile
Those perfect teeth,
luscious mouth.
Your love has skewered my body;.
Give me a little peace, and I'll give you a rose to love.
Give me a little kiss, and I'll give you a heart to embrace.
You’ll never fall away;
I’ll always be here to catch you,
To take you in my arms.
For yesterday, for today, for eternity.
Owari