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The
Woody Allen TV Special 1969
Woody Allen comes out to an overwhelming applause. He is wearing a green swade sports jacket and
tie. He appears to be relaxed and comfortable as he speaks, although his body language is the contrast - he does not stop
moving!
His first words are:
"The last time I was on television, ahh... a great many things have
happened, and I thought I'd take a just couple of minutes up front to talk about some of them with
you. Now, I did a play and I don't know how many know that, called Play it Again, Sam on
Broadway... "
(He stops speaking as the audience start applauding in recognition).
"It's autobiographical play based on my sex life", he tells the audience, who immediately start
laughing. He then proceeds to tell them, "It's a short play..." -
again, the audience breaks up into laughter.
A lot of the material that Woody used on the show was previously released in his record
albums. But what makes this TV special so enjoyable is the fact that the viewer gets the rare opportunity to see him on stage. We are all very familiar with his jokes on audio, but not many of us fans have seen him performing an actual stand-up routine. His face
expressions, his movements, sudden change of facial expressions, and that uncontrollable head movent (up and down), as if to be saying "agree with me".
The first 15 minutes consists of Woody doing his stand up routine. He then announces that the next part of the show will be a short scene between a young actor and a young actress on their first day of rehearsal of a play.
He tells the audience:
"I'd like to show you a very contemporary problem in the New York theatre".
[The play within the play starts]
We then see a very tense Woody meeting a very young Candice Bergen.
Woody: I didn’t get a chance to meet you in auditions, I’m Leo.
Candice: How do you do Leo. I’m Judy.
Woody: It exciting isn't, to finally be in a play that says something for change.
Candice: Oh yeah, I mean, this is hard hitting adult stuff - it’s all right here.
Violence, dope addiction, corruption, poverty, betrayal, fascism.
Woody: Yeah, it’s about time somebody wrote something about the New York City school system.
The gags go on and on. Its Woody Allen at his best. Finally, the sketch reaches a climax when the director of the play tells Woody and Candice that the next scene, in an effort to make real impact, has to be done in the nude.
When the young inexperience actors are told this, they start trembling with fear and
embarrassment. This part is hilarious. Woody trembles like a wet puppy! Candice protest and refuses to give in to the Directors
demands.
Woody: My mother is coming for opening night! She hasn’t seen me naked in 30
years, she’ll know something is wrong.
Candice: Why does it have to be nude? Why can’t we work with something that has the same
effect? Like clothes!
Woody: I just met this girl, I don’t know her... she’ll see my ribs.
Director: Look, it’s only a play.
Woody: Look, the country is not ready for my body! I never go to the beach. I’m so
white, black students will riot!
Director: I got to make a couple of phone calls, you got 2 minutes to get out of your clothes and start
rehearsing. If you are not willing, I’ll get a couple of actors who are.
[The Director then leaves the room]
Finally Woody and Candice decide that it is only a play, and that it is a work of art and they give each other encouragement to get
undressed... except none of them wants to be the one to start undressing.
Candice: Ok, why don’t you start?
Woody: No - No, you go first. Here’s how we’ll work this. You get undress and I’ll seat right
here, and then I’ll get undress. Don’t feel self-conscious; just take all your clothes off. Go on, don’t let me stop
you. (Audience erupts in laughter).
Candice: Ok, I’ll take off my shoe.
Woody: That’s nothing!!
Candice: Than you take off something!
Woody: Ok, I’ll take off your dress!
Woody: Ok, I’ll take my shoe off.
Candice: And your sock too!
Woody: Yes, but... then my foot will be naked!
He then agrees and takes off his shoe.
Candice: Oh my goodness, is that your foot?
Woody: Stop looking at it. I feel guilty enough having this foot, let alone showing it.
The jokes go on and on.
Woody decides that they will both count to 3 and on the third count they will both drop the blankets to be
naked.
Woody counts:
One... takes a breath. Two... takes a longer breath and begins to shake. And
then, three! He calls out.
Candice drops the blanket and Woody’s eyes light up like gloves!
Woody: You are defienetly a female!
Candice: Are you drop in it or not?
Woody: I hope you have a strong stomach and he drops the blanket.
He starts whistling and looking around his shoulders. The audience is in tears by this stage. He then looks at Candice and
says:
Woody: Do you know if the Mets won today?
Candice: You know, I don’t think that this is so awkward.
Woody agrees.
Then suddenly Woody no longer feels embarrass and instead gets confidence and
fresh.
Woody: I kind of like the feeling... suddenly I feel like a Greek God!
Then they both start rehearsing the play and we see the scene fade away.
[End of play]
Next, Woody introduces his guest group The Fifth Dimension who goes on and performs two songs Groove Thing and Bill.
He then addresses the live audience and tells them about his passion to be a comedian in a silent film. He
says, "One of the things that I had always wanted to be was a silent screen
comedian, but I came too late". (Audience laughs)
He then says, "This evening I wrote an original silent screen film that we are going to do for you
now. Its black and white so don’t adjust your set".
The second part of the show is still to be written, but it contains:
- Woody Allen in Original Black and White short silent movie.
- Interview with Billy Graham (evangelist).
- Another play with Woody Allen and Candice Bergen. Woody plays a Rabbi and Candice plays a girl with the IQ of a worm.
The Woody Allen TV Special, 1969. USA. Color. 1 hour.
Guests: Candice Bergen,Billy Graham,The Fifth Dimension,Tony Randell.
Contents: Stand-Up Routine, Short Black and White Silent Movie, Fifth Dimension sing 2 songs, 2 Comedy plays, Interview with Billy Graham.
(This video is extremely rare. It has never been shown in the US after 1969)
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