Organic chemistry is the study of carbon compounds. 
Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.
Mike Adams 

Remember if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. 
Eric Desch 

Chemists do it in test tubes.
Chemists do it reactively.
Electrochemists have more potential.
Polymer chemists do it in chains.
Morton & Reynolds 

How long have been waiting for that reaction ? Almost Faraday. 

How do you make molecules thin ? Feed them titrations. 

What element do young girls use to get guys ? Tellurium 
What did the cool proton with a sports car say to the beautiful quark ? Radon baby !
What do you do to torn atom suits ? Sodium
Mr. Delfin Angeles 

Q: What does the Lone Ranger say to his horse ? 
A: HIOAg , away !

Q: Why do Chemists like nitrates so much ?
A: Because their cheaper than day rates.

What does one do to a dead body ? Barium 
They should have seen the doctor first, he'd Curium 
Perhaps with a houseplant, a Germanium. 
And if they stole it, the Police would Cesium. 
Locked up for life in Irons. 
They would go crazy in jail and become Silicons.
John Park

"It's disconcerting to reflect on the number of students we have flunked in chemistry for 
not knowing what we later found to be untrue." 
quoted in Robert L. Weber, Science With a Smile (1992)

From: (fortunes)
Florence Flask was ... dressing for the opera when she turned to her husband and screamed, 
"Erlenmeyer ! My joules ! Someone has stolen my joules !"
"Now, now my dear," he replied, "keep your balance and reflux a moment. Perhaps they're mislead."
"No, I know they're stolen," cried Florence. "I remember I put them in my burette ... we must call a copper. "
Erlenmeyer did so and the detective who turned up, one Sherlock Ohms, said that the theft looked like the 
work of an arch-criminal by the name of Lawrence Ium. 
We must be carefull he's a free radical, ultraviolet, and dangerous. His girlfriend is a chlorine at 
the Palladium. Maybe I can catch him there." With that he jumped on his carbon cycle in an activated 
state and sped off along the reaction pathway... 
Daniel B. Murphy

I Think I heard one of the PSHS lab technicians say this, one hectic school day:
"All of these pretty chemical bottles surround me ... and NOT A SINGLE ONE is filled with BEER !"
 

 

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