The World According To Edsel Murphy

The great Edsel Murphy has presented us with what is possibly the greatest collection of rules by which the world really operates. With regard to computers: Murphy never would have used one; Murphy would have loved them.

If you think of something new, it's been done.

2nd Law of Research:

If you think something is important, no one else will.

3rd Law of Research:

If you throw it away, someone else will publish it, obtain a grant, write a book, and get on the Oprah Winfrey show.

1st Law of Theory:

No theory will answer the important questions.

Corollary: All theories are irrelevant.

2nd Law of Theory:

All theories seem workable in conversations.

Law of Importance:

When you think you have discovered the real problem, you have not.

Corollary: When you are sure it is not important, it is.

Law of Remaining Time:

If there is a significant breakthrough, it will occur when your adviser is out of the country.

Corollary: When your adviser is available, you will be mired in confusion.

1st Law of the Research Question:

If you have finalized your research question, you don't understand the literature.

2nd Law of the Research Question:

Only when you have clarified your research question will you discover a large body of conflicting findings.

3rd Law of the Research Question:

Your study will only make sense as long as your research question is hazy.

Law of Inverse Self-Reward:

The more you enjoy your research, the less data there is to support it.

Fallacy of the Library Researcher:

Somewhere there is a reference (the ``Ultimate Reference'') which will give you a stunningly brilliant opening and conclusion, tie your materials together and give you the premise for your first book. ( The search for this kind of thing has delayed dissertations for years, and forced advisers to threaten the student with bodily harm if the search is not abandoned.)

Murphy's Law Of Research:

Enough research will tend to support your theory.

Gordon's First Law:

If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.

Maier's Law:

If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
Corollaries:

1. The bigger the theory, the better.
2. The experiment may be considered a success if no more than 50% of the observed measurements must be discarded to obtain a correspondence with the theory.

Williams And Holland's Law:

If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods.

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