Se funziona, non toccatelo.
If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it.
If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
The light at the end of the tunnel is the light of an oncoming train.
The new improved model always appears on the market just after you've bought the old model.
All great discoveries are made by mistake.
If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious.
In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.
When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
Just because your doctor has a name for your condition, doesn't mean your doctor knows what it is.
COROLLARY: if the name of your condition includes the word "intrinsic", then nobody knows what it is.
Wooden legs are not hereditary; wooden heads are.
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.
If nobody uses it, there's a reason.
Help a man when he is in trouble, and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
Life is what appens while you are making other plans.
Never replicate a succesfull experiment.
A man with a watch knows what time is it. A man with two watches is never sure.
Nothing is impossible for the man who does not have to do it himself.
The sum of intelligence on the planet is a costant. The population is growing.
Whenever you cut your fingernails, you will find a need for them an hour later.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Progress does not consist of replacing a theory that is wrong with one that is right. It consist of replacing a theory that is wrong with one that is more subtly wrong.
Forgive and remember.
For every human problem, there is a neat, simple solution; and it is always wrong.
The chief cause of problems is solutions.
Finance is a study of money and how it violates the rules of mathematics and common sense.
The important thing is not what you do, but how you mesure it.
Knowledge grows at half the rate at which academic courses proliferate.
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem: they know how it is done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.
LAW OF ANATOMY: when the mouth opens, the ears slam shut.
There are two kinds of people in any organisation: those who fix the problems, and those who fix the blame. The latter are called managers.
There are two things which are truly universal: hydrogen and stupidity.
When the governement's remedies don't solve the problem, you modify the problem, not the remedy.
Only adults have difficulty with child proof bottles.
Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Those who can't teach, administrate.
Statistic are like bikinis: what they reveal is suggestive, what they conceal is vital.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
It is easy to tell when a politician is lying: watch his lips: if they move, he's lying.
A man who hesitates is lost. So is a woman who doesn't.
It is easy for a man to manage his wife: all he has to do is follow her instructions.
If money talks, all it ever said to me was goodbye.
When Salomon said that there was a time and a place for everything, he had not encountered the problem of parking an automobile.
If men could read woman's thoughts, they would take more risks than they do.
Never judge a man by the opinion his wife has of him: be fair.
There may be a market for artificial intelligence, but there is a larger market for artificial stupidity.
If the error rate is high enough to be measured, it's too high.
God created economists to give credibility to astrologers.
Don't eat yellow snow.
Put not trust in money, but put your money in trust.
When things go wrong, don't go with them.
GUIDE TO MODERN SCIENCE:
1. If it is green or wiggle, it's biology.
2. If it stinks, it's chemistry.
3. If it is incomprehensible, it's mathematics.
4. If it doesn't make sense, it's either economics or psycology.
All good ones are taken.
If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.
Nice girls finish last.
Nothing improves with age.
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
Virginity can be cured.
Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
Sex is hereditary. If your parent never had it, chances are you won't either.
When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
A woman never forgets the man she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
TORNA SU
