Visitors to this website should note that I am in no way connected with Barbra Streisand. This is just a website I've created for fans and visitors from around the world. Every image about Barbra Streisand and other artists rights are property of the respective authors. All sounds on this site retain their original copyright as owned by their respective movie & music production companies. All sound and image files are for educational, research, criticism, or review. NO PROFIT SITE. © CRISTINA MARTINICO 2007
contact me ziegfeldgirl@alice.itmailto:ziegfeldgirl@alice.itshapeimage_3_link_0
 
FUNNY GIRL Fanny: “Hello gorgeous!” ................................................................................................................... Fanny: “I'm a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls!!!” ................................................................................................................... Fanny: You think beautiful girls are going to stay stars forever? I should say not! Any minute now they're going to be out! Finished! Then it'll be my turn! ................................................................................................................... Nick: I'd be happy to wait while you change. Fanny: I'd have to change too much, nobody could wait that long. ................................................................................................................... Fanny: Where I come from, when two people... well, sort of love each other... oh, never mind. Nick: Well? What do they do when they "sort of love each other"? Fanny: Well, one of them says, "Why don't we get married?" Nick: Really? Fanny: Yeah, and sometimes it's even the man. ................................................................................................................... Fanny: "No law against waiting," I said, "people do it everyday." For once, I didn't say too much, I didn't say too little, I said just enough, and then walked away! ................................................................................................................... Mr. Ziegfeld: Miss Brice, do I have to remind you this is my theatre? Fanny: So, what, nobody argues with the landlord? ................................................................................................................... Fanny: Flo! Flo, quit yelling or your ulcer will flare up. Mr. Ziegfeld: That's funny coming from you, you gave me that ulcer! FOR PETE’S SAKE Helen Robbins: You're just jealous. Henrietta: Of what am I supposed to be jealous? Helen Robbins: You're jealous because Fred has money and can buy me nice things. Henrietta: He should buy you electrolysis, Helen, so the Brotherhood-of-TV-Dealers won't think ol' Fred is shacked up with some fat-ass grizzly bear! ................................................................................................................... Henrietta: Hello... This is your cousin Henrietta Robbins from Brooklyn... My mother was married to your uncle on your fathers side... Yeah... Everyone says how well you're doing up there in Dallas; and I just called to wish you continued success. We're all so proud of you. Really, it's thrilling... Well, to me it's thrilling. You're thrilling... I've never done anything. It's my husband whose really something. He's always in the centre of things you know. He recently came across a wonderful business opportunity in pork bellies. And we -... Pork bellies... He drives a cab. And his friend Nick, the cab dispatcher, knows why our Secretary of Agriculture is in Moscow... The Russians want to get their hands on all our meat... This is Henrietta Robbins, your cousin... If you could just lend us $3000 for 1 week?... Hello?... Hello?... Hello?... THE MIRROR HAS TWO FACES Rose: When my date takes me home and kisses me good night, if I don't hear the philharmonic in my head, I dump him! ................................................................................................................... Rose: This thing that we call a wedding ceremony is really the final scene of the fairy tale. They never tell you what happens after. They never tell you that Cinderella drove the Prince crazy with her obsessive need to clean the castle, cause she missed her day job, right? ................................................................................................................... Rose: Look at me, I'm a grown woman in a prom dress. Claire: Oh, please. You look adorable. Rose: Adorable? I look like an over-the-hill Barbie Doll. It doesn't fit right, it's too tight. Claire: Too many Sno Balls. Rose: Why didn't you pick something looser and in my color? Claire: Because Maids of Honor don't wear black. ................................................................................................................... Rose: I looked like Shirley Temple on crack! ................................................................................................................... Rose: I tell you what I envy about people in love - I'd love it if someone knew me, I mean really knew me. What I like, what I'm afraid of, what kind of toothpaste I use. Hannah: Then why are you going to all this trouble unless that something might *happen* with this one? Rose: Mother, would you stop calling him "this one", it sounds like you're picking out a lobster! ................................................................................................................... Gregory: You don't use make-up, do you? Rose: What's the point? I'd still look like me, only in color. ................................................................................................................... Rose: Why don't you get the coffee? Hannah: I've buried a husband, I've raised two daughters. I've made my coffee. Rose: By the way, would telling you now that I want sex tonight be enough of a warning? ................................................................................................................... Rose: What, what? Yes, I have breasts. They cannot, however, be the subject of one of your papers. ................................................................................................................... Rose: I don't feel anything, isn't that great! I never thought about how I would feel, I only ever thought about you. I only wanted to make you happy, I never thought I was good enough for you. Alex: Oh but you are good enough for me, Rose, you are! Rose: I know, I know, but Alex, you're not good enough for me! THE PRINCE OF TIDES Susan: Let me tell you something about those assholes mr. Wingo. I'm very grateful to them because they saved your sister's life! Tom: I don't like... Susan: I don't care what you like! She's still a threat to herself and there's no point to this unless we keep Savannah alive. And I don't care if it takes drugs or voodoo or reading the goddamn torot cards! I want her alive! Do you understand me?! ................................................................................................................... Susan: How did you deal with his death? Tom: I shut down like a broken motor. Susan: Huh. And according to the Southern way, still no tears. Tom: [laughing] Oh, I cry sometimes, Lowenstein. I cry at weddings, at the Olympics. I'm real big at the national anthem. Susan: But not over Luke? Tom: What the hell for? It wouldn't bring him back. Susan: No. But it might bring you back. ................................................................................................................... Susan: I just didn't think this was possible. And now, I hear you walk down the hall toward me. I can't stop smiling. I smile all the time... ................................................................................................................... Susan: I've gotta find me a nice Jewish boy. You guys are killing me! ................................................................................................................... Tom: [narrating] At the end of every day I drive through the city of Charleston and I cross the bridge that will take me home. I feel the words building inside me, I can't stop them, or tell you why I say them, but as I reach the top of the bridge these words come to me in a whisper. I say these words as a prayer, as regret, as praise, I say: Lowenstein, Lowenstein... THE WAY WE WERE Hubbell: A... two cheese burgers and four cokes. Katie: Onion? Hubbell: Yeah, in the cokes. ................................................................................................................... Katie: Happy Rosh Hashanah!!! ................................................................................................................... Katie: Your friends make me feel like I'm invited for drinks and everyone else is staying for supper. ................................................................................................................... Hubbell: Look, Katie. Katie: Please don't start a sentence with look. It's always bad news. ................................................................................................................... Hubbell: "You really think you're easy. Compared to what? The Hundred Years War?!" ................................................................................................................... Hubbell: Because you push too hard, every damn Minute. There's no time to ever relax and enjoy living. Everything's to serious to be so serious. Katie: If I push too hard it's because I want things to be better, I want us to be better, I want you to be better. Sure I make waves you have I mean you have to. And I'll keep making them till your everything you should be and will be.You'll never find anyone as good for you as I am, to believe in you as much as I do or love you as much! Hubbell: I know that. Katie: Well then, why? ................................................................................................................... Hubbel: Katie you just expect so much. Katie: Oh but look what I've got. ................................................................................................................... Hubbel: People are more important than their principles. Katie: People ARE their principles. ................................................................................................................... Katie: Why did you have to go with her? Tell me I'm not good enough. Tell me you don't like my politics. That I talk too much. Tell me you don't like my family, my potroast. But for God's sake you didn't have to go back to Beekman Place, did you?" Hubble: Katie what's wrong with us has nothing to do with another girl. Oh give up. Please. Katie: I can't. I hate what you did to your book. I hate the picture. 
I hate the palm tree's. I wish it would rain. Oh I want... I want... Hubble: What? Katie: I want us to love eachother. ................................................................................................................... Katie: Wouldn't it be wonderful if we were old? Then we could say we survived all this. Everything thing would be uncomplicated, the way it was when we were young? Hubble: Katie, it was never uncomplicated. MEET THE FOCKERS Bernie: Hello, you've reached the Fockers. We're not around, so leave us a message. Goodbye. Roz, how the hell do you shut this thing off? Roz: I have no idea. Just press a button. Bernie: All right, I'm pretty sure it's off. Honey, you want a chimichanga? Roz: I thought they give you gas. Bernie: A little bit, but it's worth it. Roz: Yeah, worth it for you, but I'm the one that gets the fumes. Bernie: Honey, I'm in the mood for a chimichanga! Roz: So make a chimichang... ................................................................................................................... Roz: I'm wondering why you run around with a rubber boob strapped to your chest! ................................................................................................................... Bernie: You fockerized them! Roz: Yeah! Bernie: I'm gonna fockerize you! WHAT’S UP DOC? Judy: I know I’m different, but from now on I’ll try to be the same. ................................................................................................................... Judy: How would you like one sandwhich of knucles. ................................................................................................................... Judy: Let's not say goodbye, let's just say au revoir... ................................................................................................................... Judy: You call this a honeymoon? ................................................................................................................... Judy: Do you have a pencil darling? It's four-foive-noine Darello Street. ................................................................................................................... Judy: Listen, kiddo, you can't fight a tidal wave! ................................................................................................................... Judy: Let me tell you something "love means never having to say you're sorry"... ................................................................................................................... Judy: Room service please! Hi room service, this is room 1717. I would like a double thick roast beef sandwich, medium rare, on rye bread, mustard on the top, mayonnaise on the bottom, and a coffee, hooooooooot fudge sundae with a large bottle of diet anything. You got that? NUTS Allen Green: Do you have certain questions that you ask? Claudia: No. I just go by the seat of my pants. Allen Green: Well how am I doing? Claudia: I'm about to slide off my chair. ................................................................................................................... Claudia: You married? Aaron Levinsky: Pardon me? Claudia: You got a Mrs.? Aaron Levinsky: Yeah. Claudia Does she give good head? Aaron Levinsky: You want to talk about your situation here or what? Youv'e been indited manslaugter in the first degree! Claudia: I know all of that. Now tell me why you're here. Aaron Levinsky: The truth? Claudia: No the bullshit Levinsky! I love listening to bullshit especially when I'm drowning in it! ................................................................................................................... Dr. Herbert: Would you like a cup of coffee? Claudia Draper: Not unless there's tyrosine in it! Dr. Herbert: Sorry just milk and sugar. Claudia: Pass. ................................................................................................................... Aaron Levinsky: You look wonderful. Claudia: You know why I use this dress? For the ones who want to sit on mama's lap! ................................................................................................................... Francis MacMillan: Do you believe Dr. Morrison is acting out of a personal motive? Claudia: No, I'm sure he believes what he believes. He thinks whores are girls who hang out on 8th Avenue and stick needles in their arms. He knows whores aren't nice white girls from nice white families. He knows that just as sure as he knows his wife is at home cleaning the oven. Isn't that right Herbie? But what if he's wrong? What if his wife is out balling the insurance salesman? What if he doesn't know is ass from his elbow? What if he's just an asshole with power to lock me up? What if that's all he is? An asshole with power. ................................................................................................................... Dr. Herber: You need treatment in order to control yourself. Claudia: I'm in control, because right now I would like to ring your fucking neck! But I'm not going to. Dr. Herbert A. Morrison: Good. That's a step in the right direction. I would like to help you put your life back in order. Claudia: Oh Herbie, there is no order in life. Maybe you need order. Maybe that's why your here. Behind bars. Makes you feel safe doesn't it. Dr. Hebert: Do you think this is productive? Claudia: I know you. You see I know you better than you know me. Because I've seen you with your pants down. You drop your pants and talk about your troubles on how you couldn't make it on 5th Avenue or better yet Columbus. So you're stuck in the shitist and crumbest joint in town. Right Herbie? ................................................................................................................... [questioning Dr. Morrison if Claudia knew what Manslaughter meant] Aaron Levinsky: Is it true that Claudia Draper new she was charged with manslaugter in the first degree? Claudia: Actually it's called woman slaughter, only I finish first! Francis MacMillan: You don't trust me, do you, Claudia? Claudia: Are you crazy? Oh, I'm sorry. That's YOUR question. Claudia: [Claudia is being grilled by the prosecution about her professional life] Why don't we stop all the bullshit and get to the point? You want to know what I do for a living? Ask me. My time is very expensive, Mr. MacMillan. Probably more than yours. I get $500 an hour. How much do you get? I get $400 for a straight lay, $300 for a hand job and $500 for head. If you want to wear my panties, that's another $100. You take them home, Mr. MacMillan, that's another $100. No whips, no ropes, no spikes. I've liquor and grass. Anyting else, you bring your own. It works like this: You call me up, we make a date, I look you over and IF I like you... we make a deal. And, darlin' I am worth the trouble. Take my word for it, if you want the best. Do you want the best, Mr. MacMillan? I am talking about taking your body to heaven and sending your mind south. I'm talking about spoiling you so bad... you'll hate every other woman you touch. I'm talking about my mouth on your mouth and my tongue anywhere you want it. I'm talking about indulging your every fantasy and then giving you those fantasies one by one. Just for you. All for you. Nobody but you. Do you get all that, darling? Would you like that, baby? Do you get what I'm telling you? [Looks around the courtroom] Claudia: Do you all get what I'm telling you? MOVIE QUOTES Listen kiddo! ”
“